Our Spring issue is out now! Our Feng-Shui expert and regular contributor Amanda Sophia shares her thoughts on practicing self-compassion – Dive on in!
The Importance Of Self Compassion
Showing Yourself The Compassion Your Show Others
by Amanda Sophia
“When we acknowledge how we’re feeling and we acknowledge our circumstances,
it allows us to process it and move through it. This is powerful for our self-esteem.”
They say that, on average, seventy percent of people are kinder to others than they are to themselves. Giving myself the invaluable gift of self-compassion has transformed my life and continues to strengthen me during difficult times. This beautiful metamorphosis of my spirit has sustained me in my calling as a lightworker and allowed me to give myself permission to rest.
Beloveds, how we love ourselves is how we invite others to love us. Those who are compassionate with themselves tend to receive love, encouragement and compassion from others more easily. If you’re continuously extending compassion to yourself, you grow to learn your innate worth and then, to empower others to do the same. Be There for Yourself When you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed and have negative thoughts, the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is to recenter your thoughts towards self-love, kindness and encouragement. The next time you feel those overwhelming thoughts rush in, choose to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge what you are going through and do not deflect the emotions that are arising for you. Simply allow your thoughts to roll in and then out like clouds on a breezy day.
Beloved, do not allow yourself to fall into a self-blaming narrative. Shame, self-loathing and guilt will damage your spirit and make you enter a toxic thought cycle. Be careful not to fall into a victim mindset, asking, “Why me?”. Instead, try surrendering, accept that it’s really hard for you right now, and have some compassion with yourself through that feeling.
It’s like when you tell someone that you’re going through something and they acknowledge your feelings by saying, “Oh, that’s really hard. I’m sorry that you have to go through that.” Immediately, you feel heard, seen and supported. Why don’t we offer this comfort to ourselves? Why can’t we be there for ourselves? Beloved, you should be your most passionate advocate and friend. Healthy self-compassion helps us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, because we are offering ourselves that love and acceptance, that safety.
Practicing Self-Compassion Next time you’re having a hard time just take a moment to breathe. Place your hand on your heart as a point of nourishment, close your eyes if you wish, and just support yourself by saying phrases such as, “This is really hard right now, but I’m doing a really good job. I’m coping really well…This is very difficult, but I’m OK. I am doing the best I can.” Keep doing that and just let it go a little bit more every time you repeat those phrases.
When we acknowledge how we’re feeling and we acknowledge our circumstances, it allows us to process it and move through it. This is powerful for our self-esteem. Many people’s self-esteem is based on how they look, how successful they are, how much money they make, how their relationships are going, etc. Self-compassion is something entirely different because it resides within us and is not dependent on external factors. If we show up fully for ourselves, and with compassion, then we don’t need to search for something outside of ourselves, because we possess that wholeness within.
When you are relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms such as emotional eating, binge-watching, drinking alcohol in excess or impulse shopping, you’re disconnected within and will not find lasting happiness. Whatever you do to numb what you’re feeling, those things won’t make you feel good, because as soon as they end those feelings will only come back stronger than before, the longer you try to suppress them.
Beloved, self-compassion is a beautiful invitation to embrace self-love, take healthy measures for self-soothing, build inner resilience and create beautiful new coping patterns. Refusing to suppress difficult feelings another day, choosing to love yourself, well–that is healing. Beloved, everything you need is already within you. Claim your healing, your serenity and show up for yourself. May you know that you are divine and worthy of compassion.