Tantra writer and educator Dawn Cartwright is one of our much-loved regular collaborators, and we greatly enjoyed her piece in our Spring 2026 issue, on ‘the language of kindness’. Check it out below!
Connecting in our differences
We all know what love is… right?
by Sandy C. Newbigging
Relationships can be such a tricky terrain to navigate because there are not even two people on Earth who are exactly the same and would agree on absolutely everything.
With different upbringings, cultures, languages, beliefs, values, perceptions, opinions, preferences and even Gods – we may live in the same house, city, country or world, but we are experiencing as many worlds as there are people.
One reason we are all unique is because we all have a unique collection of subconscious internal filters that are ‘editing reality’ to create our own unique ‘internal version’ of life. As a result, ‘assuming sameness’ and being unaware of everyone’s uniqueness is a hidden cause of countless relationship conflicts.
Failing to recognise this reality – that we are all unique – usually leads to disappointment, disagreement and distance between us. We assume we are the same and run into issues when we are inevitably not. Or worse, we believe that others should think, feel, believe, behave and ultimately be the same as us. But what if we aren’t meant to all be the same?
When hosting workshops, I’ve asked rooms of a hundred people to write a list of the first ten things that come to mind when they consider ‘what love is for them’. I’ve then picked someone at random to share their list with the group. On average, only two or three people in the entire room ever end up with a maximum of two or three same things on their list.
But we all know what ‘love’ is, right? Not exactly! We all have a unique ‘love list’ – what love is to us. So, if you are in a relationship, it can be both enlightening and beneficial to learn their list, and then aim to show love to in the ways that each of you uniquely experience ‘being loved’.
To relate better and connect more, you want to: 1) always remember we are all unique, 2) remain eternally curious to ensure you are genuinely seeing, hearing and understanding the other person properly, and 3) not just accept our unavoidable differences but embrace and celebrate them.
Through my therapy work I regularly witness the transformative power of someone feeling truly seen, heard, understood and accepted. It is deeply healing and more impactful than any advice I could give them or technique we could use on their problem.
One of my favourite quotes about this is by S. Kelley Harrell, who said: ‘We don’t heal in isolation, but in community’. In other words, connection is key and it comes from feeling that our unique self is fully seen, heard, understood, valid, accepted and entirely loveable.
To practise this vital skill in your relationships, get curious, ask questions, and check that you’ve seen, heard and understood the other person’s unique perspective and experience. “What I’ve heard you say is X, is that right?” You’ll be amazed by the response you get when others recognise your sincere desire to see, hear, and understand them. They light up, open up, share their truth, and perhaps most beautifully, they let you into their world.
Instead of the usual misunderstandings, disagreements and disconnections brought about by mind-reading, making assumptions, viewing differences as a bad thing, and expecting everyone to be like you, we connect at a deeper, more intimate level. Trust is born out of feeling safe, seen and accepted.
Visit sandynewbigging.com for Sandy’s one-to-one sessions, online courses and community
Our Summer 2024 Issue has hit the shelves and this issues theme is The Heart! The magazine is now available at a health shop near you, or you can subscribe to have each issue delivered right to your door at https://www.positivelife.ie/subscribe/
Unleashing the Power of Love: Cultivating Your Relationships Through Inner Transformation.
By Judith McAdam
In the vast tapestry of life, love weaves a thread of connection that binds us to others in profound ways. Whether you seek to cultivate a new relationship or enhance the one you’re already in, the journey begins with a deep exploration of the kind of relationship you envision—a relationship rooted in empowerment, openness, trust, and compassion.
Picture a love that transcends boundaries—a love that is secure, sensual, creative, and deeply fulfilling.
Imagine a relationship where personal power intertwines with compassion, where both partners are truly heard and listening to each other, while remaining aligned in their journey together. It sounds too good to be true especially if, like myself, you’ve had your fair share of ups and downs. To attract such a profound connection, you must first cultivate these qualities within yourself, as the energy you radiate internally shapes your external reality.
However, amidst the beauty of love, a shadow looms—the relentless stream of resistant thoughts that cloud our minds and hinder our ability to embrace love fully. The voices of fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and unworthiness create barriers that keep us stuck in patterns of negativity, preventing us from experiencing the love we deserve.
To break free from the shackles of resistant thoughts, we must shift our mindset towards non-resistance—a mental landscape that fosters positivity, openness, and receptivity to love. This transformation begins with harnessing the power of our imagination, where visualisation becomes a potent tool for manifesting our deepest desires.
If you are tired of negative thought patterns holding you back in your love life, it’s time to make a change, and it’s simpler than you think. By cultivating non-resistant thoughts and harnessing the power of your imagination, you can pave the way for a new and fulfilling chapter in your relationships. I developed this visualisation for myself to bring love into my own life, and it worked! So, let’s explore how the Bridge Visualisation technique can help you manifest your deepest desires.
- Set Your Intention: Close your eyes and focus on your breath, listen to the ebb and flow as it guides you into a state of calm. Picture yourself in a beautiful field by a river on a gorgeous sunny day. The sun kisses your skin, birds sing soft and vibrant flowers line your path to a sturdy old stone bridge.
- Crossing the Bridge: As you approach the bridge, visualize your intention on the other side, whether it’s passionate love, relationship harmony, or reconciliation. With each step onto the bridge, feel the support beneath you. Take your time, savoring each step, and trust in the process.
- Embrace the Journey: You’re now on the bridge, moving steadily towards your desired outcome. Capture this moment in your journal, sketching the scene to reinforce your subconscious commitment to this path. Your heart’s desire beckons from the other side—stay focused and keep moving forward.
- Manifest Your Desires: With each step, visualize your dream becoming a reality. The bridge symbolizes your journey towards love and fulfillment. By embracing this visualisation and committing it your journal, you’re aligning your subconscious mind with your deepest desires.
It’s amazing how a simple practice like the Bridge Visualization can pave the way for a profound transformation in your approach to love. But you need to consistently embrace this technique with positivity and intention; you’re essentially rewiring your mindset to be more receptive to love in all its forms. Just think, within a mere 28-90 days, you can cultivate new habits that are rooted in love and self-empowerment. All it takes is that initial step towards change.
When I was looking to bring love into my life I decided to embrace this journey wholeheartedly, and over time I witnessed how my heart and soul expand to welcome an abundance of love. It showed me how much love was already surrounding me and it brought me into a space of greater appreciation. Remember, if I can do it so can you. And if you need more guidance and support, don’t hesitate to explore the Bridge Visualisation and Creating a Lover Visualisation, both readily available for you on my website. Remember, love is a beautiful journey, and you’re worthy of every bit of it.
Our Summer 2024 Issue has hit the shelves and this issues theme is The Heart! The magazine is now available at a health shop near you, or you can subscribe to have each issue delivered right to your door at https://www.positivelife.ie/subscribe/
Reclaim Your Creation
THE NEVER-ENDING HONEYMOON.
Interviewer: Paul Congdon Interviewee: Bruce Lipton
By Persephone Kianka
In our chat with Bruce H. Lipton, PhD, he told us that 1.6 planet Earths are required to support today’s global population, evincing our disregard for the web of life. We are the web of life because we evolved from nature, yet looking at the current state of the world, it is clear we have forgotten.
As an internationally recognised leader in bridging science and spirit, Bruce expertly reminds us of who we are so that we may experience the heaven on earth that is our birthright.
TENDING THE GARDEN
Referencing the story of the Garden of Eden, Bruce acknowledges our natural state of existence is paradise.
“A garden is not a battleground. A garden by its nature is the height of cooperation, and the only things that are not cooperating in the garden we came into is us,” he explained.
All the indigenous people, from Native Americans to Druids, recognised their role as gardeners, tasked with caring for the gardens they were born into. The result was harmony and abundance, which most humans feel disconnected from today due to our scarcity mindset.
We think we’re just victims thrown into life due to our belief in competition or “survival of the fittest” instilled by Darwin.
“A garden is cooperation, not competition,” Bruce reminds us, and it’s only a false program that makes us believe otherwise.
“We have been programmed to believe we are victims of life, and as a result, we have no control over anything.”
In reality, we are powerful creators, and recognising this is crucial to our survival as a species.
PERSISTENT PROGRAMS
“The most valid science on the planet today is called quantum physics,” Bruce says, and the life-changing knowledge it gives us is nothing new.
From 1927 to this day, the first principle has always been “consciousness is creating our life experience,” yet not everyone is ready to acknowledge this.
Whether we like it or not, our creations directly result from the programs we have downloaded into the hard drive called subconscious.
Initially, this programming takes place three months before birth until age 7, when we’re in the theta state, just below consciousness.
Nature designed it this way so we can learn what to do before going out into the world, but unfortunately, most of the programs we receive nowadays are more harmful than helpful.
When these programs become the predominant source of our behaviour 95% of the time, it’s no wonder we’re dissatisfied with our creations.
According to science, the average person is only present 5% of their day, meaning that’s the only time they’re truly in control.
“When you’re conscious, you take over the computation”, Bruce explained, so how do we regain control?
THE RED PILL
The answer is love.
If you’ve seen The Matrix, science has recognised that falling in love is equivalent to the red pill in our world. It allows us to escape the matrix because the moment we fall in love, we stop thinking; when we stop thinking, we’re back in control.
Bruce assures us that the genre of this movie is not sci-fi but a documentary.
“Science has recognised the moment you fall in love, you stop thinking,” he told us, meaning you stay present and thus can experience heaven on earth.
Those of us who have been in love know that in that state, everything seems wonderful, even the areas of life that were troublesome or mundane before.
Contrary to what we may have thought then, this has nothing to do with the person we’re seeing and everything to do with ourselves.
When we’re in love, whether with a person, place, or activity, we stop playing the disempowering programs and return to our natural state of bliss.
We’re in creative mode and can easily manifest our wishes and desires, which we often call the “honeymoon phase” in a relationship.
RECOGNISE YOUR POWER
The truth is the “honeymoon phase” can last forever, but most people sabotage it by returning to thinking.
The key is to recognise the disempowering programs for what they are: neutral stories that we don’t have to buy into, no matter how many generations have done so before us.
Even genes are just blueprints; they aren’t turned on and off, Bruce clarified. What’s important is the architect who’s reading the blueprint.
“The mind is the architect,” he revealed, which has become alarmingly clear in epigenetics.
This new science exposes “how your consciousness is translated into chemistry, which is sent to your cells via the blood, and this chemistry controls your genetics.”
In other words, our belief system controls our biology, so adopting a favourable one is crucial to living the life we want.
After 40+ years of dysfunctional relationships, thanks to the program Bruce downloaded from his father, he changed the program and met his partner Margaret.
They celebrated 28 years together recently, and what’s worth celebrating even more is that they have been living every day in heaven and harmony.
“A honeymoon is a personal creation,” he assures us.
LIVING FROM THE HEART
The next time you’re faced with a decision, questioning whether you should do this or that, Bruce advises you to ask your heart.
“Don’t answer the question until you do this: ask yourself how you feel about the answer or the choice. The answer now comes from your heart, not from your head, because the heart reads vibration.”
We can weigh as many pros and cons as we like, but the heart doesn’t care about the details; it cares about energy.
We can’t change our programs by talking but by feeling.
“There’s nobody in the subconscious, so talking to your subconscious is like talking to the air,” Bruce clarified.
To write a new program, all we have to do is “push the record button”, return to presence, and then we can reprogram ourselves in 15 minutes.
To grasp this life-changing knowledge even deeper, join us for our live events with Bruce this September in collaboration with seminars.ie.
“I’m living a life I swear to god I never thought possible,” Bruce remarked, and it’s about time more of us step into our creative power to experience our versions of paradise.
Drop into your Heart this Summer and pick up a copy of the magazine at a stockist near you! Our full list of stockists can be found here, https://www.positivelife.ie/magazine/stockists/
Equanimity In Moods Of Extreme Desire
By Dawn Cartwright
Our Spring 2024 Issue is out now! The theme of this magazine is Equanimity. Pick up your copy at a health store near you or subscribe to have the magazine delivered to your door each season https://www.positivelife.ie/subscribe/
According to a study completed in 2014, men and women who have a tendency to experience transcendent states desire sex more and have sex more often than those who do not.
(I love this kind of data.)
You’re probably wondering, as am I, which came first. Does more sex make one more transcendent? Or, are transcendence-prone people more sexual?
(Sounds like a win-win-win to me.)
Transcendent sex is a journey of stillness and excitement. A journey of contrast, mood and meditation. Transcendent sex is equanimity in moments of extreme desire.
Beauty In Contrast
Transcendence, that all-encompassing realm beyond space and time, appears anytime we are in that place of equanimity. In breathing, in walking, in sex, whenever we become aware of the contrast between the experience, and the one who is experiencing, equanimity appears and transcendence – is.
Ansel Adams, a self-taught 20th-century landscape photographer, was known for his ability to perceive and capture the transient and ephemeral aspects of nature. His black and white photographs used light and contrast to reveal the transcendent quality of the landscape.
John Szarkowski, curator, described Adams’ art in this way, “Other photographers photographed the geology of the place, while Adams photographed the weather.”
Photographs such as these have a way of bringing us into the moment, making the unknown knowable. These photographs, this kind of art, connects us, no matter who we are, what language we speak, through their ability to convey something as omnipresent and ephemeral as “the weather.” Equanimity, a mood we feel beyond words.
The Rasas: Moods Of Emotion
The Natyashastra is the oldest surviving collection of sacred writings on Indian dramatic arts. One section of the Natya is dedicated to the rasas; eight core emotions. The rasas are the mood and essence in which profound inner states of feeling permeate the world of embodied forms.
Primordial emotions that can only be accurately conveyed through a transmission of feeling – words cannot describe their depths, rasas stream through our bodies during sex, an unspoken heart-to-heart. The key is to listen, closely, with our whole bodies.
Sringara: Romance, Love, Attractiveness
Hasyam: Laughter, Mirth, Comedy
Raudram: Fury
Karunyam: Compassion, Mercy
Bibhatsam: Disgust, Aversion
Bhyanakam: Horror, Terror
Veeram: Heroism
Adbhutam: Wonder, Amazement
According to the Rasa theory of the Natyashastra, rasas exist to transport us into another, parallel reality full of wonder and bliss, where we experience the essence of our own consciousness through awareness of our emotions, rather than pushing them away or expressing them unconsciously. In this way, equanimity opens the door to greater intimacy and expansive connection.
The Book Of Secrets
A subtle shift in perception – equanimity of our moods and expression – and this parallel reality full of wonder and bliss appears. All that’s needed is focus, attention and an open heart. Meditation is a beautiful way to enter the present moment, where all the secrets of equanimity exist.
The Book Of Secrets, a book filled with meditations, is a commentary on the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, a highly revered Tantric text.
“This is the map to turn you on, and to turn you in, and to turn you beyond.”
Osho
There are meditations that involve every kind of activity, from breathing to caressing to awakening the senses and becoming aware of emotion. There are also meditations for channeling energy, sitting in stillness, singing Aum, listening to music – and there are meditations for the experience of sex.
Sutra 48: At the start of sexual union keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, And so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.
Sutra 49: When in such embrace your senses are shaken as leaves, enter this shaking.
Sutra 50: Even remembering union, Without the embrace, Transformation.
These meditations, called sutras, a word that means “to sew” or “to weave,” emerged from a conversation between two lovers, Shiva, the Hindu deity of transformation, and his consort, Devi. Sutra 48 is an invitation to stay present in sexual union rather than get lost in the passion – creating a paradox. When we are more awake and aware in heightened states of pleasure, equanimity appears, between our stillness and witnessing and the intensity we feel.
Meditation techniques, focusing on mindfulness and awareness, create a gap between us – and the experience we are having. Distractions dissolve and the rasa, the mood, the weather of the moment becomes apparent because we’ve refined our ability to remain calm in the midst of everything, even passion.
To be relaxed and aware in high states of arousal is a gateway to equanimity.
Equanimity In Moods Of Extreme Desire
Sutra 57: In Moods Of Extreme Desire, Be Undisturbed
Osho, The Book Of Secrets
I wonder if any of those transcendent-prone people from the study have discovered the secrets of Tantric sex? If they experience, naturally, the equanimity of pleasure and desire. Never holding back or moving toward a goal? Have they perfected the art of equanimity in sex?
(I hope they have.)
“Move in sex, but remain undisturbed. Be a witness. Go on being a deep observer. Whatsoever is happening, is happening on the periphery; you are just an onlooker, a spectator. …This feeling of two forces working simultaneously gives you a transcendence.”
Osho, The Book Of Secrets
Transcendence that appears when these two forces, inner calm and passion, are experienced in equanimity.
Dawn Cartwright is a NeoTantra visionary, sacred writer, world traveler, and innovator in SelfActualization-NeoTantra fusion. www.dawncartwright.com.
Our Spring 2024 Issue is out now! The theme of this magazine is Equanimity. Pick up your copy at a health store near you or subscribe to have the magazine delivered to your door each season https://www.positivelife.ie/subscribe/
Love From The Inside Out
Hormonal Harmony
By Alison McEvoy
John Gray, author of ‘Men are from Mars, women are from Venus’, one of the best selling relationship books of all times, has struck again. His newest addition to the world of relationship navigation is a book called ‘Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship skills for Today’s Complex World’.
We spoke with John recently to hear his updated take on how relationships could evolve, bringing the worlds of men and women together to unite in harmony and love.
Hormonal harmony
“People are understanding the importance of hormones these days,” says John. Neuroscience and hormonal science, John believes, holds the key to evolving our relationships.
Men and women are coming together within societies whose way of living, being, earning and consuming is one that we have never experienced before as a human race. Our biology, our hormones are also being affected by our new lifestyles, habits, attitudes, freedoms and burdens. If we are to come together in harmony then an understanding of what we ourselves are experiencing is necessary, as well as an understanding of what those who we wish to be in relationship with are experiencing.
As mother to a toddler, and bear with me on the analogy here, I know the power of researching the biological needs and capacities of the one you are desiring to learn how to love through challenges. When I studied the brain of my toddler, I was so much better equipped with patience and understanding and thus able to adjust my expectations of his responses (aka ‘big feelings’) to things. Put simply, neuroscience helped me to actively love my toddler better in daily life.
In the beginning…
All beings, biologically speaking, are born equal. For the first three weeks of life in utero there is no difference between an egg about to become a male and one destined to be biologically female. The “sex differentiation chromosome”, aka the Y chromosome, comes into play at around 3 weeks. It releases an “extra” 23 genes that make a child male, thereby enabling him to “override certain female functions.”
So, from 3 weeks on, men and women embark on their unique hormonal journey through life. Testosterone is known as the ‘male hormone’ and oestrogen is known as the ‘female hormone’. Both men and women require both however hormonal balance in men requires them to have 10-20 times more testosterone circulating in their system than women. Conversely, women’s hormonal balance requires them to have 10-20 times more oestrogen than men.
In the messy middle…
Stress is the factor which most often disrupts this balance. Chronic stress, and stress which feels insurmountable, creates an excess of a stress hormone called cortisol. Cortisol blocks the normal functioning of the hormonal system.
“When a man is stressed…his testosterone goes down and he oestrogen goes up,” states John. This hormonal disruption can bring out the worst aspects of masculinity; lack of motivation, anxiety, passivity or irritability and aggression/anger. In this kind of state, a man needs “to have a mindset and a behaviour which is going to stimulate testosterone.” If you are a woman in relationship with a man, you will also need a mindset and behaviour which will encourage testosterone.
Testosterone building Tips
“You don’t need to suffer in a marriage (or relationship) if you know what men need, what women need, and how to respond in ways that will support them in feeling loved and motivate them to be more loving.”
As a woman, you can help your male counterpart by simply understanding what he is going through and what he needs to do. He will need to take action, challenge himself where success is anticipated, build his confidence by proving to himself and others what he can do. This might look like getting more into his sport, taking on a project around the house, solving a meaningful problem or issue, or going for a promotion at work. If you can understand that these actions are his nature’s way of building his testosterone and leading him out of stress and into hormonal and emotional harmony, then you can be a supporter. Your appreciation for his achievements will also contribute to a rise in his testosterone.
“Women are chocolate”
“Men are vanilla….women are more complicated.”
For women, life has changed drastically in the last 100 years. We are now in positions where we experience a lot more testosterone, as well as cortisol. We achieve outside the home, we work, we get promoted, we create successful business (testosterone building activities). However, this ability to have financial independence and a career does not raise our oestrogen levels. This is significant, as “if you are a woman and you’re feeling stressed, you need to have a mindset and a behaviour which is going to produce oestrogen.”
This means our home life needs to be oestrogen building, or in John’s words “you need to anticipate coming home to a relationship or life that generates a lot of oestrogen.” Our significant other needs to engage with us in a way that creates an abundance of oestrogen.
This kind of oestrogen rich life is one where women experience being listened to non-judgementally and understood. Where problems are worked on in tandem with others, interdependently rather than solo. Where there is a feeling of trust and safety. As a man, this is the way to make a woman feel loved-up.
Emotional balance = hormonal balance
So, there can be no more eye rolling when you man needs to play some footie, or your woman wants you to sit with her and listen to her with full attention. These are not whimsical requests. They are fundamental to hormonal and emotional balance in your beloved.
John Gray will be joining us this October for a wonderful full-day workshop!
TIME TO HARMONISE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN,
WE WELCOME THE AUTHOR OF MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, JOHN GRAY, TO DUBLIN FOR A ONE DAY WORKSHOP!
For tickets and information, see https://www.tickettailor.com/events/positivelifemagazine/1163795
Katarina & John Hawken at their forrest retreat hotel Centre of Transformation in Czechia
Hello Positive Lifers, here is a look into the world of Deep Dating with Find L’Amour. Find L’Amour was founded by Katarína Hawken in 2014 and they have developed a fantastic team from then. Keep reading to find out about the powerful work they do and their event coming up in 2024!
Normal speed dating is a chance to meet members of the opposite sex, who are also looking for a partner, in a short amount of time. But, what to talk about?
Deep Dating creates around 15 encounters in one evening during which you have the experience of an energetic meeting, which you then go on to talk about.
Each energetic meeting is different, so it never gets boring. The meeting focuses not on the mind and what you think, but on your awareness and what you experience. For example, one meeting might be about breathing to connect on the level of spirit and the third eye, another about dancing to express your awareness of the uniqueness of the partner you are meeting. Another encounter might involve sitting back to back and trusting your partner to support you while you are supporting them, finding balance and equality. These kinds of experiences give plenty of material to share about.
The meeting
focuses not on the
mind and what you
think, but on your
awareness and what
you experience.
Because you have experienced each other in the meeting, there is no value in hiding or pretending, but rather in honesty and self-awareness. Then you are free to consider how well your partner is able to talk about their experience and to listen to yours? And remember, it is fine to be shy; the challenge is to share openly about who and how you are.
These shared experiences are founded on tantra, the art of relationship based on energy and consciousness. The basis of tantra, rather than judging and criticising, is to look for the special quality in each person and in each meeting. It teaches appreciation and gratitude, by imagining each man as a unique incarnation of the god and each woman as a unique incarnation of the goddess. It opens the heart and creates an atmosphere where either you find your special person, or at the least have a series of enjoyable and heart-warming meetings. It helps us to let go of prejudices and the judgments of our minds.
Deep Dating evenings were developed and are led by Katarina Hawken, founder of an exclusive matchmaking and self- development agency, Find L’Amour. Katarina is an experienced, international matchmaker based in Prague who represented Europe in the American TV series Match Me Abroad. She has been bringing couples together for over ten years. She works with her husband, John Hawken, founder of The Centre of Transformation and author of the book ‘Realizations: On the Paths of Transformation’, who has 45 years of experience teaching tantra and energy awareness all over Europe.
Deep Dating is coming to Dublin on 26th April 2024 at 7pm in The Mayson Hotel, 81/82 North Wall Quay (The Timberyard event space). Both Katarina and John are leading the event and this will be €50 well invested. VIP tickets for €80 are also available which include dinner at 6pm.
For booking contact katka@findlamour.com
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