By Olga Sheean
With so many of us seeking greater awareness, it’s hard to imagine that there are any universal laws left to be named or discovered. And yet there is a series of laws so fundamental to our health, success and fulfilment that it’s a miracle they’ve remained hidden to most of the human race. As immutable as Newton’s Law of Gravity (yet much more uplifting, especially where certain body parts are concerned), these laws govern how much love, money, ease, success and fulfilment we have in our lives. They shape our careers, relationships and perspective, influencing our choices, goals and dreams. Not to be confused with the Law of Attraction or the power of positive thinking, these laws are part of a far bigger picture that relates to the subconscious programming that occurs in our formative years.
I call them the Laws of Luxury Living because they enable us to create what we want, once we understand how they work. The essence of these laws is that we attract certain situations, dynamics and circumstances in accordance with how we have been taught to think, feel and live. In other words, this ‘programming’ creates our reality and determines our circumstances, whether we realise it or not. And because much of our programming is negative, creating low self-worth and a multitude of fears, doubts and insecurities, the most important one of these laws involves building healthy self-acceptance in practical, everyday ways. This brings an immediate upgrade in our personal circumstances and turns us into magnets for all kinds of wonderful stuff.
Adjusting this crucial piece of our negative programming means practising, embodying and demonstrating healthy self-acceptance in every area of our lives. It’s not about having positive thoughts, feelings or intentions; it’s about doing and saying things that demonstrate strong self-worth—even if, inside, we feel insecure, wobbly or undeserving. We may want to say no to the boss about working overtime, but we’re afraid we’ll lose our job; we might want to stand up to an abusive partner, but we’re afraid he/she will leave us; and we might prefer to have a nice hot bath, rather than taking a friend to the airport, but we’re afraid she’ll think we’re selfish. Yet all of these things demonstrate a fear of rejection caused by low self-worth. You may think such compromises keep you safe, but they actually keep you stuck in self-denial and they guarantee that you will never get what you really want.
In practical terms, demonstrating healthy self-acceptance means:
· taking care of your body by eating well, exercising, resting when you’re tired and making your well-being a top priority in your day—no matter what.
· saying no to any kind of neediness, manipulation or abuse, and not allowing yourself to be used as a doormat or taken for granted.
· not making compromises based on insecurity or wanting someone’s love or approval and, instead, making conscious choices based on healthy self-respect.
· expressing your opinions, regardless of what other people think, and daring to be authentic and honest in your interactions.
· graciously accepting compliments, allowing others to support you, and asking for help when you need it.
· cultivating healthy friendships and social interaction.
· expressing yourself creatively through art, music, hobbies or in the way you dress.
· creating healthy boundaries so that you don’t put others’ needs before your own.
· living life on your terms, rather than being driven by what others want or expect.
· proactively choosing what you want, rather than catering / reacting to the needs or demands of your circumstances.
· cultivating connection and intimacy by relating to others in heartfelt, meaningful ways.
When I heed my own advice and do these things daily, magic happens. When I take a month off to write or just relax, I’m swamped with clients, offers of work, requests for radio interviews, invitations to exotic places and all kinds of wonderful things that simply would not have happened had I stayed at home, nose to the grindstone, fearfully saving my pennies and working as hard as I can. When I demonstrate strong self-acceptance in positive ways, it always pays off. It happens every single time, without fail, and with consistently positive outcomes.
Olga Sheean is an author, relationship counsellor, therapist and empowerment coach. She is offering FREE empowerment workshops, in your own home / office, for small groups of 5-6 friends / colleagues.
Call 016852600 or email firstname.lastname@example.org for details.