By Micheál O’Mathúna
With the numerous ways to meet someone special – from Tinder, to Plenty of Fish, to speed dating – how come it seems to be so hard to meet a suitable partner? Relationship expert, clinical psychologist and international speaker Dr. Tony Humphreys claims most of us have been drugged into believing the three most “common creative delusions” about relationships. These are: “We all come from happy families,” “Marriage will bring me happiness,” and “Having children will make me happy.”
“The consequences of these delusions are great expectations – and when not met, great disappointment and resentment occurs,” said Dr. Humphreys. “A relationship is where I bring my completeness to another and I experience a completeness of the other.” We can become deluded with the belief that somebody out there is going to complete us and make us feel happy. In our quest to find the perfect relationship, we can forget to have that most important relationship: the relationship with ourselves. “Our most important responsibility is to get to know and love ourselves. You can travel the whole world and not find anyone more deserving of love than yourself. As you examine your own life and come into a fuller relationship with yourself, you automatically see your partner
differently because your see yourself differently,” said Dr. Humphreys.
One of the key ingredients of any relationship is the ability of both partners to communicate in an authentic way. Often, what blocks this is our fear of what the other person may think. “Communication of a real, authentic nature shows you’ve come into knowing yourself. Communication of a conflictual nature mirrors back the work I have to do on myself. The conflict in the relationship is now the opportunity for each person to reflect on their own inner worlds and see what they have brought to the relationship, so that they can come into their independence and bring their fullness to each other,” said Dr. Humphreys.
You can join Dr. Tony Humphreys for a special seminar style workshop entitled: “The Lure of the Relationship” on Sunday October 22nd, from 2 until 5pm at the Talbot Hotel, Stillorgan, Dublin. It includes a presentation and a live interview with Dr. Tony Humphreys, as well as a Q & A session. The event is being organised by The Health Zone, a platform to educate and empower people about health and wellbeing.
Tickets cost only €40 and are very limited for this event. Book your place here!