by Sally Carr
Your heart is calling you! Your heart is your spirit’s essence. It is yearning to be in deep, loving, supportive relationship with you. Your heart wants, through this relationship to bring your dreams into reality. Are you answering this call? In the best of times, it is all too easy to direct our attention and power on the external circumstances of life. And now, in this time of economic uncertainty it is even more tempting to let our fear prevail and to keep our focus on things outside of ourselves. So now, especially, is the time to focus inward.
For years, many of us have lived believing that success is an uphill battle to be waged by the sheer force of our will and effort. We have been convinced that we need to do the right thing and be the right kind of person. We have been caught in a perpetual cycle of obsessive thinking and compulsive doing.
Perhaps our parents and teachers, with only good intentions, motivated us through criticism, judgment and blame. In an attempt to ensure our survival, they taught us to examine what seemed wrong with us and then challenged us to work hard to correct those faults. If something couldn’t be changed, we were then encouraged to blame other people or circumstances. If a substantial amount of our inner dialogue is harsh, critical or blaming, we have probably internalized this survival strategy.
This strategy, when successful, typically results in feelings of achievement in one area of life but is often offset by exhaustion and dissatisfaction or feelings of inadequacy in other areas. Often the success is difficult to maintain because it requires us to work against our natural tendencies and qualities. We can feel like we are caught in a rip tide swimming against the current rather than relaxing into a natural flow.
What if it were possible to adopt a strategy based on an inward appreciation for the gifts that you are? A strategy that focuses on what is right about you rather than one based on changing you. A strategy that encourages you to rely on your inner wisdom, experience and knowledge. When people incorporate this strategy into their lives, hard work feels inspired and joyful not exhausting and strained. The journey to success feels balanced and rewarding. Goals achieved fit into the puzzle of your life in ways that enhance it all.
In my own life and in my coaching work I have found that when people answer the call of their heart they focus on cultivating a relationship with a wise mentor within; one who I call their Inner Confidant. Life becomes simpler and more graceful for them. Surviving transforms into thriving.
In order to do this, imagine that you are always accompanied by a being that guides, comforts and protects you. Perhaps yours would appear as a beloved aunt, a best friend, a knight in shining armour, an angel, Jesus or another religious figure. You see the mentor in the form that appeals to you and brings you comfort. Your Inner Confidant is the expression of your Highest Self. You’ll know you’re in touch with your Inner Confidant when the messages you receive are kind, patient, accepting and loving. Any internal voice that leaves you feeling judged, criticized or inadequate is not your Inner Confidant.
Your wise Inner Confidant knows that the shortest path to success is to encourage you to begin with focusing inward. Its wisdom allows you to express yourself authentically and to take inspired action so that you may bring your gifts into the world. By allowing your Inner Confidant to lead you, you begin to quiet your mind and enlist it into the service of your highest good. There is a place in our lives for intellect, reason and action. When life is fuelled by the critical voice it becomes an effort but when it is energized by the heart it is pure joy.
Your Inner Confidant will partner with you to express your life in tangible ways. Perhaps you want to develop a healing practice, start a business, mend a relationship, paint, exercise, or create work-life balance. Turn to your Inner Confidant first and often. Allow the image of a kind and loving soul to come into your awareness. Imagine this Confidant sitting with you with complete tenderness and acceptance in his/her eyes. This being is the perfect partner for you with endless amounts of patience, knowledge and unlimited access to information, people and resources. The Inner Confidant’s entire purpose is to be in loving relationship with you and to experience the glory of who you are. Your Inner Confidant responds to you with total acceptance and delight. Anything you want is okay, even the improbable goal or the one you think you don’t deserve. Your Inner Confidant kindly embraces your desires, celebrating what you want and helps you bring it into existence.
There are no “shoulds” in your relationship with your Inner Confidant. Just begin by extending an invitation – a willingness to find that voice of love and tenderness inside of you. You can do this via prayer, mediation, journaling, or over a cup of tea. Breathe and just see that you are not alone but in the company of one who has always loved you. One who will always be there for you and will patiently wait until you are ready to work together.
Your Inner Confidant can help you know that the Universe is a loving force, that we are an essential part of this life energy and that through focusing inwardly we have access to all the wisdom, creativity and love we can receive. Living with this perspective can help transform our lives.
Cultivating a delightful, joyful and intimate relationship with your Inner Confidant is an enriching and enlivening way to support yourself and the world. You deserve it. So take heart, and transform surviving into thriving today.
Leadership Coach and Confidant
Sally works with individuals and businesses assisting them to thrive through inner focus and inspired action.