In our Summer 2020 issue, our resident parenting expert Anna Cole wrote about the value of doing a parenting ‘re-set’ during tense times. We previously published a sneak peek of her article, and today, we wanted to share the whole thing. Enjoy!
In our new Summer 2020 issue, our regular parenting columnist Anna Cole wrote about the value of a parental ‘re-set’ during tense times. Today, we wanted to share a sneak peek of her article, to give you a taste of parenting wisdom. Read on and enjoy!
We love this article from our Spring 2020 issue, by our resident parenting educator Anna Cole. Here, she discusses why parents may need a ‘parenting re-set’ when they have been rearing their children for a decade or more. Read on for her tips!
Teens sitting the Junior or Leaving Cert in June may be at breaking point – as are their parents – and if so, Judith McAdam and Emma Lloyd are on hand to help with their Pre-Paving the Way for the Leaving Cert and Junior Cert workshops, both taking place in Ely House, Rathfarnham, Dublin 14 on Sunday May 19th. The Junior Cert event will take place from 1.00 to 3.00 p.m., while the Leaving Cert event takes place from 5.00 p.m. to 8.00 p.m.
In this extract from our Spring 2019 issue, Hand in Hand Parenting expert and educator Anna Cole describes how old, seemingly insignificant memories – even ones stemming from their birth – can unconsciously affect our children, and how we as parents can help. To read the full article, just pick up a copy of the magazine in your local stockist or subscribe here.
Ahead of Anna Cole and Tosha Schore’s upcoming appearance at Positive Nights on Thursday November 7th, we are pleased to share Anna’s article from our Autumn 2018 issue. Consider it a brief taster of what she and Tosha will have to say on the night!
Healing the hidden triggers
Why children push your buttons, and what to do about it
By Anna Cole
Parenting isn’t easy! Some days start with one child sitting defiantly on the floor, refusing to put on their shoes, with another grumpy, prickly and ignoring the dishwasher she’s been asked to empty. We’re bristling before breakfast is over, and things go downhill from here. When we’re upset and stressed, the fun drains out of parenting, to say the least. Even our sense that our children are dear to us disappears. Every single one of us grapples with tough days as we do our best to be good parents.
Why do we struggle so hard in parenting? Because, let’s face it, despite reading about peaceful and positive parenting, we do struggle hard some days. In the heat of the moment, we act in ways that we are less than proud of. Unconsciously, our own memories of past hurts are wrenched back into the here and now.
This kind of triggering is ubiquitous for parents and stems from events or bad times at different ages and stages of our own childhoods which left us hurt. When we act in ways we wished we hadn’t, the quiet, and not so quiet, whispers of times gone by which have left a mark, a wound, and a rigidity in us, have an effect on the day-to-day of parenting. We plaster them over to get by, as likely no one could listen to them when we were young. We learn to ignore them and attempt to stride, positively, into each parenting day. But here’s the rub: the wonder and the intensity of parenting is that, as much as we’d like to avoid it, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ parenting has an uncanny, almost precision ability to bring up these hidden triggers – often and many times! After some years of working on my own hidden triggers around parenting I have learnt to think of them as mirrors of opportunity. They invite healing and growth, if we can get the support we need.
As the autumn nights draw in and we head towards the ‘dark half of the year’ as the ancient Celts called it, we’re offering you a remarkable and rare opportunity to come learn a practice for releasing your parenting triggers with a couple of ‘masters’ – well, ‘mistresses’ – of the art of healing our parenting triggers. For one night only, Anna Cole – that’s me – certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor, and Tosha Schore, parent educator extraordinaire and co-author of the successful book, Listen. Five Simple Tools to Meet your Everyday Parenting Challenges, will be in Dublin talking at Positive Nights.
Join us for a welcoming and intimate evening and take home practical tools which will transform your parenting days – and nights – and help make your peaceful parenting dreams a reality. Come ready to practice. We’ll share perspective and practical ideas based on more than a combined couple of decades of our own experience, along with our training in Hand in Hand Parenting. We guarantee that this will make things go more easily in your parenting journey.
You’ve read the books, you know the theory, right? You know how you want it to look but you just keep losing it with your kids when they wake at 5am every morning, or refuse to go to sleep overnight, or (insert here!)…
You know the what! Let us show you the how! Come ready to laugh, talk and have some fun on this often bumpy, and less than perfect, journey of parenting.
Anna and Tosha will be appearing at Positive Nights on Thursday November 7th, with a mini parenting workshop which – if you’re a parent or hope to be – you don’t want to miss. This special evening will take place in the Bewley’s Café Theatre, 78/79 Grafton Street, Dublin 2, from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m. Click here to learn more and book your tickets.
For more, see: positivelife.ie/positivenights
Anna Cole, Ph.D., is a parent educator, researcher, writer and a certified instructor with Hand in Hand Parenting. She can be found on Facebook at:
Hand in Hand Parenting with Anna Cole
On Wednesday November 7th, we are excited to be welcoming parenting experts and educators, Anna Cole and Tosha Schore, to Positive Nights. This event will take place from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m. in the Bewley’s Café Theatre, 78/79 Grafton Street, Dublin 2. Doors will open at 7.00 p.m. Click here to book your tickets.
You’ve read the books. You know the theory, right? You know how you want your parenting life to look, but you just keep losing it with your kids when they wake at 5 a.m. every morning, ignore you when you ask them to brush their teeth, hit a sibling or call you names…
Join us for an intimate and welcoming evening where you’ll get to listen to Tosha Schore in conversation with Anna Cole, and take home some practical tools to make your parenting dreams a reality. Come ready to laugh, talk, practice and have some fun on this often bumpy, and less than perfect, journey of parenting. You know the what! Let Tosha and Anna show you the how!
About Tosha and Anna:
Tosha Schore, M.A, is a Hand-in-Hand Certified parent coach, the author of LISTEN: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, and an international speaker. She is the mother of three boys, and an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. Tosha is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their children deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly.
Anna Cole, PhD, is a certified Hand in Hand parent educator, researcher and writer. She began her professional life as an academic researcher and lecturer. After the birth of her daughter in 2004 and her son in 2006 her academic interest in supporting marginalised communities in her anthropological work became a very real interest in figuring out why parenting was so emotionally hard, and yet was too often un-sung, under-appreciated and of such vital importance to shaping the next generation. She is committed to inter-generational family healing, one parent at a time. If you are a regular reader of our print magazine, you may recognise her as Positive Life’s resident Positive Parenting columnist!
Click here to book your tickets.
Summer is in full swing, and what better way to celebrate than by getting out and about to enjoy some exciting events or sample some of the best holistic products on the market? Read on to learn more about the highlights we’ve picked out for you for this month. If you haven’t picked up our Summer 2018 issue yet, make sure you call into one of our stockists throughout the country soon. You can also subscribe here to get a copy delivered right to your door.
Veginity Opens New Plant-Based Restaurant
Veginity has long been a go-to spot for vegan foodies … and if you are a fan of this innovative food truck business, you’ll be glad to hear that they have found a new, permanent venue at 101 Upper Dorset Street, Dublin 1. Whilst adjusting to the joy of being in their new home, Veginity is continuing to supply the scrumptious plant-based fare that has won them legions of fans over the past few years, ever since Australian chef Mark Senn originally founded the business as a food truck. We love their imaginative approach to food preparation … not to mention their mouth watering desserts. Make sure you check them out!
Positive Nights Presents: Peaceful Parenting with Genevieve Simperingham – 12th July
We have two exciting events on the Positive Nights calendar this month! Tonight – Thursday July 12th – we will be playing host to parenting expert and educator, Genevieve Simperingham. Genevieve will be discussing the peaceful parenting philosophy she teaches, which equips parents with the tools to transition to a non-punitive, connection-based parenting approach. This will take place from 7.00 to 9.00 p.m. in the Bewley’s Café Theatre, 78/79 Grafton Street, Dublin 2. For further information and booking, just click here.
Positive Nights Presents: Creating a Positive Reality with Judith McAdam – 19th July
Judith McAdam is a theologian, holistic life coach and the bestselling author of The Source. Throughout her career, she has been inspiring women and men to tap into their unique creative intelligence and step into their true potential, realising their personal and higher purpose in this life. Judith weaves together the ancient and the new drawing on mystical theological traditions and connecting this information to contemporary psychology and science in an accessible and impactful way. We are thrilled to welcome her to Positive Nights on Thursday July 19th, from 7.00 to 9.00 p.m. at the Bewley’s Café Theatre, 78/79 Grafton Street, Dublin 2. Click here for further information and booking details.
Marianne Williamson to Visit Dublin in October
Marianne Williamson is one of the world’s most respected spiritual teachers. She is an internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer. Seven of her twelve published books have been New York Times Best Sellers. A paragraph from her mega best seller A Return to Love, beginning “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…” is considered an anthem for a contemporary generation of seekers. Marianne is visiting Dublin on Wednesday October 10th 2018, from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m. in the Royal Marine Hotel, Marine Road, Dublin. Drawing on her insights from A Course in Miracles, Marianne will speak about how we may transform our own lives and what we can do to change the world. Click here to view the event page, buy tickets, and learn more.
The Holistic Therapist With a Passion for Mental Health
Linda Culleton is a holistic therapist with a great passion for assisting people who suffer from adverse mental health conditions. “While working as an accountant, I pushed my body and mind to the limit, and due to this, I began to suffer with severe anxiety,” she explains. “I later developed a condition called Obsessive Compulsive disorder, of which the OCD symptoms were intrusive thoughts of harming myself and others.These OCD symptoms were devastating to live with.” She explored many different avenues that could assist with her healing process, including Kundalini yoga and meditation classes. During this time, she discovered a specific breath exercise called the OCD Breath in Kundalini Yoga Meditation. She credits this technique with transforming her life. She now offers one-to-one consultations, group programs, yoga and meditation classes, and Skype consultations. She is passionate about helping people to cope with mental health challenges.
Amazing Health Show Comes to the RDS This September
On September the 8th and 9th, 2018, Dublin’s RDS will play host to the amazing Vitality Expo 2018, brought to you by Health Stores Ireland. The Expo will be dedicated to all things health-related, with a diverse array of wellness, lifestyle, fitness and nutrition talks being delivered by Irish and international speakers and natural health brands. Confirmed exhibitors include Abundance and Health, Altrient C, Hifas Da Terra, Dr. Mahers skincare, Genovese Pestos, Macánta, NaturaLife, Optimal Brain and Sun Chlorella. The Expo will will also feature a Food and Cookery Stage, and Outdoor Entertainment Area (offering live music, yoga and pilates sessions, as well as a kids’ area) and The Village, where you can sample tasty delights from over 100 artisan and local health food producers in the Irish marketplace. We recently interviewed Patrick Holford – who will be present at the show – for our Summer 2018 magazine. You can read the interview here.
In this sneak peek of the Positive Parenting article from our Spring issue, Anna Cole compassionately addresses the issue of parental guilt: an all-too-common emotion to those who always strive to do their best for the children in their care. You can read the full article by picking up a copy of the Spring issue, or subscribing to have it delivered straight to your door.
By Anna Cole
‘Guilty feet have got no rhythm.’
The longer I work with parents, and the longer I am a parent, the more I realise that we all feel truck-loads of guilt. We instinctively don’t want our children to get hurt. Ever. We ardently wish we could make a perfect life for them. But, unfortunately, we don’t have the power to protect our children from all the hurts we wish we could: the loss of a beloved family member that knocked you, and them, for six; the move you did for work and the dislocation on your child’s schooling; or perhaps you stayed put, but the class bully picked on your child; maybe you got sick and haven’t been able to be there as much as you’d like; perhaps violence or impoverishment in your neighbourhood has affected your child, or perhaps, like many of us, you’ve been through separation or divorce and worry about the impact of that on your child. You will be able to add to this list, I am sure.
So here’s the headline: it’s not possible to make our child’s life perfect. And the good news is: it’s also not necessary. Children come with a simple, elegant way of recovering from hurt, which I will discuss in our next issue. Right now I want to focus on what we as parents can do to help ourselves so we can best help our kids.
The first thing you need to know is that you have done your best. It’s not your fault things got hard, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. Take your regret to your Listening Partner (for more information on Listening Partnerships and how to find one, see the link in ‘resources’ below). In your Listening Partnership you can cry, tremble, shout and rage about the things you regret. Shed those tears. They are the rain that falls and makes the flowers so sweet in the spring. Share the dark thoughts you have, then leave them behind, and when you start feeling bad again, go back and have another Listening Partnership. You have the right to be pleased with yourself, and that’s what your child wants for you. They don’t want you feeling awful. They want you to play. They want you to be there with them, present and relaxed.