This sneak peek from our Summer 2019 issue (available now) focuses on the amazing book ‘How to Be Happy,’ written by well-known comedienne, actress and mental health activist Ruby Wax, neuroscientist Dr. Ash Ranpura, and Buddhist monk Gelong Thubten. We were thrilled to chat to Ruby Wax about the book, and hear her nuggets of wisdom on the human mind. You can read the full article in our Summer 2019 issue. Click here to find your nearest stockist, or subscribe to receive a copy of the magazine direct to your door.
Happiness
Positive Nights Presents: The Man Who Changed His Brain & The Woman Who Had a Day to Live
We are thrilled to be hosting an exciting evening with Ray Behan – the man who changed his brain – and Antonella Traino – the woman who had one day to live. This will take place on Thursday June 6th, from 7.30 to 9.30 p.m. in Bewley’s Café, 78/79 Grafton Street, Dublin 2.
Ray Behan has been a property developer, property educator and property writer for almost three decades. He is also very active in promoting the practical application of quantum physics, quantum mechanics, biology, and frequently writes and speaks on quantum, human consciousness and the ‘egoic and biological self’. He has studied quantum phenomena, biology and cosmic consciousness for many years with some of the greatest educators in their field of human personal development, such as Dr. John Demartini, Jack Canfield, and Benjamin J. Harvey.
Antonella survived a near-death experience, and is now a health and mindset educator, a qualified counsellor and a trained facilitator of The Demartini Method. She has studied human behaviour, psychology and personal growth for over twenty years, and has assisted numerous people break through their self-limiting beliefs and perceptions. Antonella is passionate about mindsets, quantum physics, neuroplasticity, epigenetics, psychoneuroimmunology and stepping outside the boundaries of what mainstream culture tells us.
During this enthralling event with Ray and Antonella, we will discuss a range of topics, including:
Why the brain is just a processor of information, while ‘we’ are outside the brain.
Antonella’s healing process, the day she almost died, and how she changed her mindset so much that she now travels the world, teaching, helping and healing.
The meaning behind the phrase ‘The Indoctrination of the Imagination’.
Details from Ray’s new book (yet to be released), The Man Who Changed His Brain. In the book, he discusses how science proves the existence of God.
The connection between neurology and biology, and how your ‘biography’ becomes your ‘biology’.
How meditation truly works.
To book your tickets, just click here.
Pauline Rohdich is a hypnotherapist, yoga teacher and coach. She is passionate about helping people to find freedom from pain and suffering. Her powerful, authentic energy radiates kindness, warmth, and unconditional love. She is holding two ‘Say Yes to Happiness’ seminars in Dublin and Cork this May – read on to learn more!
Kevin James Carroll’s Chanting Circles are a co-creative and empowering experience that can have you singing your heart out, dancing in bliss and diving deep into the profound silence that follows. On Thursday July 5th, he will be holding a very special Heart Song Celebration in the Irishtown Gospel Hall, Dublin 4, from 6 p.m. to 10.30 p.m. Read on to learn more!
On Thursday July 5th, Kevin James is delighted to introduce a session of summer Sunset chanting of sweet mantras and Heart Songs in the beautiful Irishtown Gospel Hall, Dublin 4.
The Songs and mantras of Kevin James are about re-connection. They are a gift to the many hearts remembering the ONE: an expression of the movement of realisation that is spreading across the planet right now. This is a movement that honours the ancient cultures and religions of the world, embracing their commonality… their Oneness.
Each Heart Song is a modern devotional Hymn, a song of clear intent and purpose: to expand awareness beyond the thinking mind, to enter the bliss of the heart.
Doors will be open from 6.00 p.m. for a light social start, before the main event kicks off at 7.00 p.m. Various raw organic treats, juices and teas will be available to purchase. Admission to the event is €25.
For more information, check out the event’s Facebook page. Kevin James’ website is kevinjamesheartsongs.com.
We wanted to share this powerful article by Amanda Collins from our Winter 2017/18 issue, in which she urges us to stop looking to unknown future events for our happiness, and to live for today instead. She says, “You can choose and claim happiness by living, breathing, and doing everything, every day, from a place of self-love.” The time for us to step into our power and choose our birthright of happiness is NOW.
You are love, pure and simple. Happiness is your birthright. All you have to do is choose it and claim it. “How?” you may wonder. You can choose and claim happiness by living, breathing, and doing everything, every day, from a place of self-love. If that sounds impossible to you, it’s time to begin listening to your self-talk, to look for signs and symptoms of denying the love and self-love that resides at the core of your being.
Do you say things to yourself such as “I’ll be happy when…” and then add an event in the future? When I lose more weight, when I find a boyfriend, when I make more money, when I quit my job: all of these thoughts deny you the happiness you might be feeling in the here and now. You are postponing your happiness when you could be inhaling joy and self-love with every breath instead.
Do you say other things to yourself such as “I wish I were as successful in my love life as I am at my job,” or “If only I were as good a parent as I am a friend”? Such thoughts again deny your ability to bring happiness into every area of your life. Instead of wishing, reframe your thoughts with the belief that you can bring the same ease, flow, and energy to your “weak” areas as to your “strong” ones.
Do you say things to yourself such as “Oh, it’s just my usual bad luck!” or “This kind of thing always happens to me”? Such statements deny your freedom of choice. They make you subject to some past negative idea of fate or destiny controlling your life. Be aware of the ways you criticise yourself or expect the worst. These are strong signs that you do not love yourself unconditionally. At some level you may feel (or have been told) that you do not deserve happiness. If so, you can begin the process of rooting out such self-denying attitudes.
Once you have developed the capacity to hear the negative messages in your self-talk, begin affirming the positive in yourself. Meditate to quiet the chatter so you can hear the deeper voice that knows you are love and that feeling self-love is the first step on the path to feeling deserving of happiness. Then you may choose to be happy. NOW.
Affirmations are a key method of reprogramming your mind— which has the quality of neuroplasticity—by replacing negative thoughts, doubts, fears and expectations with positive ones. State positively, as if it has already happened, your intentions and gratitude for whatever will bring greater positive energy and happiness into your life. Repeat each with full conviction five times in the morning and five in the evening. Here are a few examples to help you create your own:
- I give thanks for my lovely children who bring joy and pleasure to my life.
- I deserve to be respected, valued, loved and honoured.
- I am a magnet of success, grateful that limitless opportunities open for me now.
- I give thanks for my busy career and the clarity to use my time wisely.
- Radiant, vibrant good health is mine in every cell and atom of my being.
- I love myself unconditionally and shine that love into the world.
Examine your morning ritual. When you wake up in the morning, do you immediately reach for your phone or computer? Do you look for distraction or affirmation in the outside world? Change that habit. Tap in first. Tap into your heart and higher self. Ask yourself what you are grateful for. Breathe in and fill yourself with gratitude and the possibilities of abundance that each new day brings. From that place of strength, listen to the gremlins of negative self talk and banish them. Go for a run in nature. Stand in the sun or let the rain bathe you so you can connect yourself with the earth.
Find practices that are really nurturing and nourishing to you: whether it’s reading inspiring books, joining webinars and classes, or perhaps getting the therapy you may need for greater support and healing. If you notice you are depressed or low on energy a lot of the time, that’s a good sign you may need some expert help to heal and grow. I believe that getting expert help is a way of loving ourselves. Know that you deserve that time and that support. Give yourself permission to do what is self-loving by practicing self care each and every day.
Listening to yourself, affirming your strengths, examining your habits, practicing self care: these observances will help you cultivate self-love. Stop looking for happiness outside of yourself. Happiness is an inside job. Self-love is an inside job. Choose happiness, claim it as your birthright. Now!
For more information on Amanda’s work, go to www.AmandaCollins.com or www.InternationalFengShuiSchool.com
By Sigita Paliukaité
I flew to Thailand, straight to the islands. The way I planned it, this was supposed to be my time of peace, laziness and enjoyment, while resting on its white sand beaches and swimming in its blue waters. But suddenly, my journey turned into something unexpected and entirely different. It felt as if my world has shrunk from 3D to 2D.
Myanmar was such an experience! Travelling through timeless beauty and unspeakable poverty, seeing human conditioning and at the same time the vastness of forgiveness and kindness. I saw layers inside myself I wasn't aware of. And here, here I was, in a supposed paradise, packed with tourists, having a drink every evening. I started smoking again, was solely in my head, feeling lonely and totally separated. Something snapped inside me when I
arrived to Thailand. Once again, ego was the main participant in the play of life.
I can’t really explain why or how. Did I just absorb my surroundings, shape-shifting into what was around me? Myanmar was true and raw, and I was true and raw. And here in Thailand, on snow white beaches, looking at the sun mirror itself in sky blue waters, I was playing a part in my ego’s masquerade once again. Even if I hated it, even if I knew I hated it, I picked up and put on that heavy layered mask.
I was quite miserable for very petty, silly reasons (on top of spiritual, energetic or whatever relapse I was going through); such as people around me were all couples or families on holidays in their own private bubbles, or not being able to rent a motorbike and drive (have no driving licence. I know, shocking). I was stuck on the island, with waterfalls just in the mountains behind me which I’d never see (as my time and travels went on, I’ve visited countless stunning waterfalls, falling down in many tiers and swam in their pools, but back then, my mind kept me preoccupied with “wanting and not getting”).
And then I heard of this island; a few square kilometres, a handful of locals, electricity after dusk until midnight, only one place on the whole island, at the end of the beach, with a few bungalows to rent. It sounded exactly what I need. So I made my way there. I was scammed on the boat ride, only to find out that the night in a bungalow would cost me
€30! I couldn’t help myself though, as it was to be my ultimate island experience, the one I’d dreamed of and imagined all my life. So I made a decision to use my whole journey’s funds on about two weeks’ budget and have this experience. I booked myself in for three nights, for my long anticipated peace and quiet.
And I hated it! The water was too shallow for a swim and there were odd creatures (sea cucumbers as I learned later) on the bottom of the sea. There was no breeze and the heat was just too much. Drinking water was not included in the bungalow price and my silence disappeared with long-tail boats with snorkelers coming close to the shore from late morning until sunset; I was so uncomfortable there all the time. Expectations! Hadn’t I learned yet?
One of those days, I realised something of great importance. Well, it wasn’t like I haven’t heard it before, but perhaps I needed to learn through my own, however painful, experience rather than in theory; There is no peace without only within. I’d been looking in the totally wrong place!
I remembered a split second of peace, like nothing I’d felt before, which I experienced when I was having an anxiety attack (yes, I hear the irony!) back in Myanmar. I just allowed all that was to be. After such a powerful revelation you’d imagine me to shift towards where that revelation was pointing at, right? No such thing! Every time I tried to ground myself in it or meditate – I’d pass out to sleep! And I knew very well, that was the ego’s response, when it’s
about to be degraded, but I couldn’t help it, the grip was too strong.
So there I was, awfully uncomfortable. Unable to move. Just hoping I’d come out of it eventually. I was feeling so paralysed. I was incapable of even thinking about where I would head to next. And so I extended my very expensive suffering for longer… How bizarre! Two unbelievable things happened that day – to wake me up, to open my eyes to seeing that one-way traffic bridge from within to without.
In the late morning, I was walking on a long, empty beach and a massive coconut fell from a palm tree onto my footsteps, just a second after I’d passed. It gave me a good scare! And that night, I witnessed contraband being brought from a ship to the island. Three small boats came to the shore, soundless and in complete darkness – no lights, no torches, nothing – from a French ship anchored farther away in the sea (I presumed it was a French ship, because I saw the crew on the island earlier that day and I heard them speak French. I knew three little boats came from there because I saw the ship well-lit just before midnight, men unloading cargo onto small boats). They came straight to the beach where I was sitting, watching stars, alone. Men carried large heavy crates in silence, to golf carts, waiting by the beach in (again!) complete darkness. We all pretended not to notice each other’s company – twelve black ghostly silhouettes, bent beneath the weight they carried, soundlessly crossing the beach, and me, sitting on the sand, “star-watching”, exposed and thinking I’d be murdered that night. I’d sensed from the first day there was something fishy about the whole island, there were too many odd, little details that just didn’t add up. However, I don’t want to go too deep into speculations now, and none of them in fact matter here in my tale. So that night I finally knew – the universe is telling me something loud and clear. I knew the message straight away!
My last morning in Myanmar, I was having breakfast in a guesthouse when a Buddhist monk appeared from somewhere and gave me a little card, with hand writing in English that said “those who are present will never die, but whose who live in past or future, are already like the dead.” Now, life was showing me the direction, was telling me that there's only one “real” reality and that is present moment, but I still didn’t live it. So coconuts fell on my footsteps and danger found itself on my path…
I kept island hopping for three more weeks, stayed on seven islands and visited many more. I experienced the beauty of turquoise waters, countless sunrises and sunsets setting the sky on fire, white sand as soft as powder, mountains covered in jungle, cliffs, tropical flowers, fireflies, stars in the night sky. I swam in beautiful coral reefs, with big and small fish of all the colours of the rainbow, with little sharks and sting rays, and with a huge white sea-turtle. The islands were mesmerizing! But I will remember it as the time when I was the most lonely…
That “ultimate island experience” shed a lot of light onto some questions I hadn’t even verbalized properly back then. But, clearly, the teachings and teachers are always provided, we just don’t recognise them, or we get disappointed because they’re very often not the ones we would like or expect to learn from. “Our experiences are never suffering. We just choose to suffer our experiences.” These are not my words, but profound insights of a wise man whose book I was reading at that time.
I was talking to a friend of mine, who is on her own quest far away across the ocean, by the end of my third week in the islands and she made a very good point. She told me to acknowledge how symbolic "island" is. The same friend asked me then, how my heart was? Have you ever been asked this question? It baffled me. After an audit my reply was “overlooked…watching the mind dance.” I surprised myself by how clearly and easily, without any internal earthquake to shake feelings and force insights to become more vivid, just in a conversation with a friend, I truly saw it as something cardinal – my ‘heart’, my core. And that was as far as I figured. How to identify with my heart, not my mind – I did not know. That was the end of the rational road. And all I could do was hope for grace.
After days of denial, I finally saw “island” for what it was- a mistaken choice to look for peace in the outside world of expectations- and took a ferry to the main land.
Spring Issue 2017: Dr. Feel Good by Gavin Ryan
By Gavin Ryan
Are you happy? Sometimes it can be a hard question to answer. You mightn’t know this, but the United Nations declared March 20th the International Day of Happiness in recognition of it being a universal human goal. If it’s so important, do we know how to maximise happiness in our lives? I spoke to psychologist, senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author, Dr. Rick Hanson, who has spent the past fifteen years researching the subject and teaching the world what he has discovered.
Dr. Hanson is interested in what he calls ‘the sweet spot’, where psychology, neuroscience and contemplative wisdom meet. It is here that he has discovered many practical tools for a more stable, durable wellbeing, even in the face of lots of challenges.
Fundamental to his teaching is the idea that the brain is hardwired with a negativity bias. This makes sense when we think of how the brain has evolved over millennia. In the primitive world of our ancestors, failing to learn to avoid danger, such as a predator, could easily result in death. The consequences of failing to learn from positive experiences were not so dire. Therefore our brains have evolved to be much more plastic in learning from what is threatening than from that which is attractive. In everyday life, we have the full range of experiences from terrible to wonderful. What Dr. Hanson wants to highlight is how our brains are designed to absorb negative lessons much more than positive ones.
In order to overcome this negativity bias it is not enough to simply focus on the positive. Our brains are not designed to record these experiences and so they just flow past as pleasant moments without affecting our neural structures. Instead, we have to consciously make our brain record these positive experiences by using the practical techniques that he has gathered from his years of research in the field. Doing this a few times a day over time will help us to develop what he calls a ‘deep keel’. This is a sense of calm wellbeing that we can develop as a resource in order to meet the vicissitudes of life and still maintain balance. We began our interview talking about one of history’s most famous experts on the subjects of happiness, Siddhartha Gautama.
The Buddha taught that the cause of all suffering is attachment. What do you make of that?
I’m a rock climber. I get very attached to holds when I’m dangling from a sheer cliff. That’s a good thing. I think the language of Buddhism has been mistranslated in a lot of ways. The word the Buddha used in the second noble truth for ‘that which causes suffering’ is probably best translated as ‘craving’ or ‘clinging’ and the root of the word for it is ‘thirst’. It’s a state of deficit and disturbance. So the question then becomes, how do we get through the day and get stuff done without tipping into a state that has a quality of deficit and disturbance in it.
Imagine we could settle a sibling quarrel, work an issue out with our partner, get up yet again to walk that crying baby all on the basis of an internal felt sense in our core of fullness and balance rather than deficit and disturbance. We can consciously develop fullness of calm strength, of feeling loved and a fundamental equilibrium. We may be rattled, but in our core there’s a fundamental place of wellbeing that we can take refuge in and come from as we deal with issues. Whether it’s about raising kids, commuting to work, dealing with your crazy boss, or the chronic pain in your back, just recognising that possibility that we can stay in the green zone in our core even when the world, or our own body, is flashing red. That’s great. I think of it as the keel for a sailboat. The keel, as it gets deeper in the water, enables us to live life in a more adventurous way, as Brene Brown would have it ‘to dare greatly’. But also that when the storms of life come, they might bang us awful hard, but we’re going to recover more rapidly. I ask myself what is going on in the mind of a great person like Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King or somebody maybe we haven’t heard of who is facing great challenges calmly.
This is where the intersection of psychology, neuroscience and contemplative wisdom is really helpful, because we can start to reverse engineer what’s going on in really self-actualised, or exemplary people and work backwards. What we see in these people is that they have a really deep keel in the water. They are able to deal with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without losing their balance. Without tipping over, without also veering away from their particular north star. They’re able to keep their eyes on the prize even when the world is banging on them real hard. They maintain their integrity, they maintain their good heart, they see the good in their adversaries. I think there’s growing evidence that they’ve developed this very deep sense of fullness of balance and we can work backwards from that and develop that same sense in ourselves.
Some people seem to be born with this ‘deep keel’ you talk about, some people develop it and others never find it. Do you think in the future that is something we could gift our children?
Absolutely. Studies show that roughly a third of who we are is baked into our genetics. That means the other two thirds are shaped by our experiences and are therefore amenable to our influence. These are both environmental but especially psychological factors inside our own heads that will influence who we become. Some people come out of the box very sensitive and very reactive. Like in the poem, “Wednesday’s child is full of woe.” On the other hand, some people come out of the box like Sunday’s child and are very upbeat relaxed optimistic people.
But after that, there’s so much we can do. What really matters is what we do with the other two thirds of the pie chart. This is the part that we can shape. I find this really hopeful at a time when many people feel pushed around by large-scale external forces or the reactions in their minds to those forces. No one can grow for you between your ears. On the other hand, no one can stop you from learning even in the most terrible of circumstances.
How important a role does nutrition play in our happiness?
Well, I’m a software guy, not a hardware guy so I refer people to the hardware folks like physicians, nutritionists and healers. But it’s clear that there are very definite links between nutrition and a healthy brain. Such as for example essential fatty acids found in flaxseed oil or fish oil. Also, it’s important to stay away from foods that are inflammatory or that you might be sensitive to such as those containing lactose or gluten, any foods introduced to the human diet in just the last 10,000 years. Inflammation is bad for the brain.
You’re coming to Ireland this June to teach. Is there anything you’re interested in doing while you’re here?
I was in Ireland for about a week as a kid. I loved the combination of the kind of grittiness of Dublin with the beautiful countryside elsewhere. I’m going to take a bit of time to go into the more Celtic-Druidic parts of the countryside. I’m quite Scottish in my blood and so I have that Celtic connection. I’m looking forward to it. The workshops themselves are very straightforward high-density immersion in positive neuroplasticity. You will learn how to help yourself maximise your gains throughout the day to grow various psychological resources. You can apply this skill to building a green zone to improve our wellbeing in general but also become more effective in dealing with the challenges of life now that we’ve got this deeper keel in the water.
Dr. Rick Hanson is coming to Ireland to give separate workshops for both the general public and professionals. June 6-11 in The grand Hotel, Malahide.
This is an excerpt from our Winter 2016 issue. Read more about Dr. Rick Hanson and his amazing work in our Spring 2017 ISSUE by subscribing soon so we can post you a copy or by picking up a magazine from one of our lovely stockists all over Ireland. Tell them we said hello!
By Gavin Ryan
Are you happy? Sometimes it can be a hard question to answer. You mightn’t know this, but the United Nations declared March 20th the International Day of Happiness in recognition of it being a universal human goal. If it’s so important, do we know how to maximise happiness in our lives? I spoke to psychologist, senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author, Dr. Rick Hanson, who has spent the past fifteen years researching the subject and teaching the world what he has discovered.
Dr. Hanson is interested in what he calls ‘the sweet spot’, where psychology, neuroscience and contemplative wisdom meet. It is here that he has discovered many practical tools for a more stable, durable wellbeing, even in the face of lots of challenges.
Fundamental to his teaching is the idea that the brain is hardwired with a negativity bias. This makes sense when we think of how the brain has evolved over millennia. In the primitive world of our ancestors, failing to learn to avoid danger, such as a predator, could easily result in death. The consequences of failing to learn from positive experiences were not so dire. Therefore our brains have evolved to be much more plastic in learning from what is threatening than from that which is attractive. In everyday life, we have the full range of experiences from terrible to wonderful. What Dr. Hanson wants to highlight is how our brains are designed to absorb negative lessons much more than positive ones.
You can check his very interesting Ted Talk here!
This is an excerpt from our Spring 2017 issue. Read more about Dr. Rick Hanson in our Spring 2017 issue by subscribing soon so we can post you a copy or by picking up a magazine from one of our lovely stockists all over Ireland. Tell them we said hi!
Space and Time to See the Path
From our Winter 2015/2016 issue. Be the first to read the next issue of Positive Life in print – Subscribe.
By Jai Kartar Kaur
How do I live a good life? This has been a paramount question for me for as long as I can remember. My extensive travels as a child made me aware very early on that there are numerous choices to be made by us, and there are also numerous choices that are made for us.
I was baffled by the extreme variations that I witnessed in the world. I remember my father cautiously guarding his wallet from poverty stricken children in Lima, watching decadently dressed adults swill cocktails while gambling in Las Vegas, a smiling toothless Taiwanese woman touching my blond hair as she gave me a necklace of painted nuts. I was puzzled by why some had so much and others had so little. One thing that was obvious was that people’s happiness was by no means proportional to their material wealth or station in life.
I knew that I wanted my choices to have a positive impact and to somehow, satiate my longing to belong. The looming question was and still is, “How do I live a good life?” I spend some time every day in contemplation of this and I’ve found that the answer lies in continually asking this question. Day by day, step by step, it helps to guide me.
As a dedicated Kundalini yogi, I begin my day with sadhana, meaning ‘spiritual practice’ and derived from the Sanskrit word ‘sadh’ which means ‘to reach one’s goal’. My sadhana involves contemplation on the Divine Creator through the recitation of Japji, yoga exercises and meditation. They each give me time and space to listen for the answer of my ever-lingering question, “How do I live a good life?”
Sometimes the path is very clear and at other times, it feels obscured, yet I’ve come to know that I won’t go off course, so long as I maintain my integrity. When the way forward isn’t clear, the Divine Teacher is guiding me to take pause and focus on being rather than acting.
When my teacher Yogi Bhajan was once asked, “How can I lead a good life?”, he replied, “The question is what kind of death do you want to have? If you ask yourself this question you will know how you should live your life.”
All of us wish for an easy transition from life to death and into the next realm. What we are wishing for is a scenario where we have no regrets, no unfinished business, to be able to let go with ease. Taking a moment to reflect on your course of action from the perspective of your death bed really sheds light on the matter!
Dare to ask yourself, if I were to die tomorrow how would I feel about this situation and my integrity within it?
I believe when I die, it is me who will decide my fate. My soul knows when I have and haven’t succeeded to live with integrity. I may very well return again to work out things I’ve yet to learn. It is all a process of remembering my divine nature and having the courage, strength and compassion to bring the heavenly realm to earth.
Jai Kartar Kaur is a Kundalini yoga teacher and teacher trainer and works to empower her clientele, to encourage their own innate ability to be actively involved in creating and sustaining their wellness. wellwithin.ie