From our Winter 2015/2016 issue.
By Mick Sawtell
In my Tantric practice in Dublin, relationships are an important topic and often, a pattern clearly emerges of a deep longing, mainly in the woman, for a feeling of real connection with their partner that may have been lost over the years. Communication often degenerates to half truths in an attempt to keep the peace or protect our partner form hurt. These are some very powerful tools that can be used to help re-establish honest communication and connection.
Create a quiet space where both partners are prepared to take this big step of opening up more honestly to each other. The purpose is to share your personal truth and feelings in an atmosphere of acceptance -it’s not a time for mutual criticism or judgement. Also remember, the hesitation might be to say something beautiful – it doesn’t have to be negative. As the giver and the receiver, respect the courage and trust required to make this work. Focus on the ‘I feel’ approach, with kindness and trust.
- As you sit or lie together, breathe consciously and open up eye contact. After a few minutes, when you feel ready, whoever’s going first, feel into your heart and say to your partner:
- “Something I’ve been hesitating to tell you is…” and say from your heart what you’ve been wanting to share but felt afraid to. As mentioned before, your partner should attempt to hear this without judgement or response. Then its the partner’s turn to share something they’ve been hesitating to tell you. Keep swapping as the feeling of connectedness grows.
- Follow up in the same manner with, “Something I’ve been hesitating to ask you…”
- Lastly, continue with, “Something I need you to help me with…”
