In our Summer 2021 issue, our much-loved regular columnist Judith McAdam offered us a heartfelt reflection on how we can transcend difficult times in our close relationships. Enjoy her wise guidance below!
Transcending a Storm Cloud
Ask for clarity
by Judith McAdam
A couple of years ago, a friend had an issue with me. Although I wasn’t really sure what I had done to offend her, I could feel her energy coming toward me like a storm cloud. I knew she was going through a lot in her life, and my relationship with her meant the world to me.
The consequences of a ‘falling out’ would be devastating, not only to me but to those around me. So, I also decided to use all my tools in my toolbox to consciously create a more positive outcome. I was determined to create positive momentum, or at least to employ the Law of Least Resistance.
Remembering my days in the airline business, I began to use non-resistant thought, creating a metaphor to help me solve the problem. The image of my friend as a ‘storm cloud’ coming toward me made me feel less threatened and provoked the thought that an aircraft never flies into severe thunderstorms because the turbulence can be so extreme it could tear an aircraft up.
So, I wholeheartedly decided not to allow myself to be sucked into her storm and ultimately ripped to pieces! Again, reverting to the aircraft metaphor, I asked myself what the pilot would do. The answer was simple. The pilot would fly around the storm – this was akin to the Law of Least Resistance – or she would fly above the storm, which I likened to transcending the problem.
Applying non-resistant thought was helping me not to get so emotionally triggered. As hard as it was, considering I hate conflict and was anxious, upset, and a tad bit angry myself, I managed to slow everything down. Each correspondence with my friend reminded me of a minefield with plenty of explosive mines hidden in her text messages. I needed to step with extreme caution – otherwise, metaphorically speaking, I could get blow up!
During this process, I relied heavily on my intuition. I asked my subconscious mind, a.k.a. my inner child, for clarity. ‘Give me clarity – please show me the way to fly around this storm cloud, or transcend it,’ I would plea. When I got really upset or triggered by some of her texts, I would place my hand on my heart and soothe that wounded part of me and talk deeply to myself, saying, ‘I really do know that I can transcend this, just show me how.’
Over a period of weeks, I managed to watch every word I wrote in my text messages, making sure each word carried with it only high vibrations. I noticed when I got triggered and listened to my negative internal chitter-chatter. With each trigger, I would place my hand on my heart, soothe and calm myself, then ask for clarity. It was hard going, as I had to be vigilant, remaining consciously aware of my actions. It would have been all too easy to dissolve into tears … or worse still, send a stinker of a text.
Step by step, I began to see the situation differently and get answers or intuitions on what to do next. Finally, one day, I caught my thoughts. I could hear myself say, ‘I would just love it if she walked in my door and I could put my arms around her and tell her how much she means to me.’ Then I heard a voice inside me say, ‘you be that change’. Reluctantly, listening to my intuition with fear and trepidation, I knocked on her door and told her how much she means to me.
The storm cloud dissipated and the aircraft landed safely. All was well.