The renowned theologian, author, coach and overall wise woman Judith McAdam is one of our valued regular contributors, and we love her work. Enjoy her offering in our Winter 2020/21 issue: a reflection on what it means to be sovereign, and ‘in the driver’s seat’ of our own lives.
life
While winter is gradually beginning to recede, it hasn’t quite lost its bite just yet … so we wanted to share Alison Canavan’s words of wisdom from our Winter 2018/19 issue today. She wrote a beautiful piece on the importance of reaching out to one another and cultivating closeness during the cold season.
In our Autumn 2018 issue, eight of our readers shared with us what their relationships have meant to them. This season, it’s all about the bonds of love! You can pick up a copy of the magazine at our stockists across the country, or subscribe here to receive a copy direct to your door.
SPIRITUALITY & THE CITY
THE BONDS OF LOVE
Liz Lynch & Ciara O’Neill (couple)
Liz
It is hard to put into words how I feel about this wonderful woman. She is full of life, love and laughter. Ciara and I share a quirky sense of humour and I know that with her, I can always be fully myself, no matter how silly that is.
Ciara has great empathy for other people’s worries. I am lucky that she has made it her mission in life to take care of me. Ever since I started dating Ciara, I have felt enveloped by her boundless love and I hope she feels the same from me.
Ciara is very modest and doesn’t seem to know how wonderful she is. Her smile lights up a room and her laughter is infectious. I feel blessed every day knowing she is my wife.
Ciara
My wedding day was the happiest day of my life. I am so grateful to everybody who campaigned for marriage equality, and of course the wonderful Irish people who voted yes to love on that magical day in May 2015.
What I love most about Liz is her caring and compassionate nature. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for the people she loves.
Liz is the funniest person I have ever met and she makes me laugh every day. Meeting Liz is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my best friend and favourite person in the whole world. I know that she believes in me and loves me unconditionally, and that is the best feeling in the world.
Martin & Magda Janik (couple)
Martin
Magda is my soulmate. I know it isn’t our first life together: we have loved each other many times before. Her calmness, her beauty, her love and the amazingly multi-dimensional depth of her being makes each life so worth living. I had a dream about Magda after I saw her for the first or second time, and after that dream, I knew she was the one. We were 16 and 17 at that time. This year was our 25th anniversary of being a couple and our 20th wedding anniversary. Magda stands by me during our happiest and most challenging moments and I love her to bits. She is an amazing mum to our daughter Pola, who we both absolutely adore.
Magda
I love Martin: my husband and my best friend. Martin is warm, loving, kind and funny. He has a great passion for life and energy that always amazes me. He is intelligent, creative, and always eager to learn and experience new things, which makes our journey together very interesting. We always know what each other is thinking without saying a single word. Martin makes me feel loved every day and I love him for that. He is also a fantastic father to our daughter Pola, who adores him.
This year is very special for us as we are celebrating 25 years together and the 20th anniversary of our wedding. I am grateful for each of those years and excited about all the years to come.
Dave Weakley & Sara Weis (father and daughter)
Sara
My dad is a great person: very kind, hilariously funny and super talented as well. He is a wonderful human being. Because we both work in the field of music, we have a lot in common. I’ve learned a huge amount from him. His advice is very valuable to me. Music is such a difficult profession, it’s great to have people around you who understand that and who can be supportive. Both of my parents are hugely supportive – they both work in the arts – and they are wonderful. My dad is my inspiration. We have great craic together, and he’s just the best dad I could ever have asked for. His experience of getting out there and putting himself before an audience taught me how to be brave.
Dave
Sara is so talented. From a very early age, she always showed promise and excellence at singing and acting, and this promise has really borne fruit over the last few months. She recently began to put herself out there and start singing … and she is absolutely marvellous. I could go on forever about my tremendous admiration for her!
I’m incredibly proud of her. I know parents are supposed to be the role model for their children, but she is more of a role model for me. I’m a musician myself, and I derive a lot of joy from listening to her and watching her while she is performing.
Livia Devi & Carolyne Marks (friends)
Livia
Carolyne and I share a sacred space of beautiful heart-connection, love, joy, respect and appreciation. Her wisdom and life experience always guide me on my path. Her teachings about love, life and relationships have helped me to grow and evolve. We always have so much fun and laugher when we meet, enjoying life to the full!Her presence in my life is a like a warm ocean breeze on a summer day. The stillness, flow and richness of our connection its so cherished!
I am truly honored and grateful to have you as a friend, Carolyne.
Carolyne
My name is Carolyne and I am very fortunate! Why? I have a beautiful friend and her name is Livia. Yes, she is physically beautiful, no doubt about that: however, what I am referring to with the word ‘beautiful’ goes far beyond that superficial perspective. You see, as within, so without. My friend is beautiful in Soul. When we are together, there is simply harmony, peace and so much joy. At times, we have very deep, fulfilling and meaningful conversations and I love to grow with her this way, as well as simply sitting in silence and connecting on a very different level at other times. When out and about, we like similar things, laugh about the same nonsense and appreciate the world and nature with all our hearts. Being able to share this love of life with someone is a great treasure and a special gift.
Space and Time to See the Path
From our Winter 2015/2016 issue. Be the first to read the next issue of Positive Life in print – Subscribe.
By Jai Kartar Kaur
How do I live a good life? This has been a paramount question for me for as long as I can remember. My extensive travels as a child made me aware very early on that there are numerous choices to be made by us, and there are also numerous choices that are made for us.
I was baffled by the extreme variations that I witnessed in the world. I remember my father cautiously guarding his wallet from poverty stricken children in Lima, watching decadently dressed adults swill cocktails while gambling in Las Vegas, a smiling toothless Taiwanese woman touching my blond hair as she gave me a necklace of painted nuts. I was puzzled by why some had so much and others had so little. One thing that was obvious was that people’s happiness was by no means proportional to their material wealth or station in life.
I knew that I wanted my choices to have a positive impact and to somehow, satiate my longing to belong. The looming question was and still is, “How do I live a good life?” I spend some time every day in contemplation of this and I’ve found that the answer lies in continually asking this question. Day by day, step by step, it helps to guide me.
As a dedicated Kundalini yogi, I begin my day with sadhana, meaning ‘spiritual practice’ and derived from the Sanskrit word ‘sadh’ which means ‘to reach one’s goal’. My sadhana involves contemplation on the Divine Creator through the recitation of Japji, yoga exercises and meditation. They each give me time and space to listen for the answer of my ever-lingering question, “How do I live a good life?”
Sometimes the path is very clear and at other times, it feels obscured, yet I’ve come to know that I won’t go off course, so long as I maintain my integrity. When the way forward isn’t clear, the Divine Teacher is guiding me to take pause and focus on being rather than acting.
When my teacher Yogi Bhajan was once asked, “How can I lead a good life?”, he replied, “The question is what kind of death do you want to have? If you ask yourself this question you will know how you should live your life.”
All of us wish for an easy transition from life to death and into the next realm. What we are wishing for is a scenario where we have no regrets, no unfinished business, to be able to let go with ease. Taking a moment to reflect on your course of action from the perspective of your death bed really sheds light on the matter!
Dare to ask yourself, if I were to die tomorrow how would I feel about this situation and my integrity within it?
I believe when I die, it is me who will decide my fate. My soul knows when I have and haven’t succeeded to live with integrity. I may very well return again to work out things I’ve yet to learn. It is all a process of remembering my divine nature and having the courage, strength and compassion to bring the heavenly realm to earth.
Jai Kartar Kaur is a Kundalini yoga teacher and teacher trainer and works to empower her clientele, to encourage their own innate ability to be actively involved in creating and sustaining their wellness. wellwithin.ie
Route to Calm
The Shortcut to Peace of Mind.
By Sarah McLean
Though the sources of stress can be different for each one of us—financial concerns, family issues, or difficult work environment —many of the effects of stress are common to all: headaches, insomnia, indigestion, chronic pain, anxiety, depression. Here are three easy ways to prevent stress from overshadowing your day:
1. Take a Time Out for a Time In
Sit in silent meditation at least ten minutes a day. Close your eyes and bring your attention to the sensation of breathing naturally through your nose. If you get distracted, simply refocus again. And again. Don’t wait for something magical to happen, simply keep at it. Unplugging like this will help you create a new, relaxed way of being.
2. Slow it Down
When you notice you’re rushing through daily activities, stop and ask yourself, “Why am I rushing?” Rushing engages the body’s fight or flight response which can cause inflammation and stress. So, whether you’re driving, walking, reading, eating, or brushing your teeth, slow down deliberately. Being more mindful will help you savour this life of yours.
3. Relax and Reconnect
For a few minutes each day scan your body and relax on purpose. Relax your scalp, your forehead, your eyes, your jaw. Relax your hands and belly. Feel your feet on the floor. Do this a few times each day, let being relaxed be your new normal. Don’t let your life be hijacked by stress. Take a time out to enjoy the good stuff around you. You’re worth it.
Hay House Author Sarah McLean leads meditation retreats and teacher training programs in Co. Cork. McLeanMeditation.com
With Beata Januszczak
Did you know that according to some people, you can change your life by changing your handwriting. The theory is that your writing can reveal and heal blocks. Our mind is a plastic and mouldable structure – we can always achieve change and our handwriting is a direct expression of our subconscious mind. Even motivational author Louise Hay changed her handwriting based on Vimala Rodgers’ Alphabet.
Beata Januszczak runs workshops in this and will introduce us to it all. Beata has spent the last 5 years studying the connection between the body, mind and spirit. She’s a Reiki and Seichem Master, an NLP Master Practitioner and Life Coach and a Neuromuscular Trigger Point Therapist.
She also studied the soul-based handwriting with Vimala Rogers (author of the book “Transform your Life Through Handwriting”) & became a Certified Handwriting Consultant.
Is there an aspect of your life that you would like to change? Come find out more on this very special evening with Beata.
Email buddhabagmeeting@gmail.com to book. Tickets €15/10 concession
Thursday 9 July, 8pm, The Lantern Centre, Dublin 8. Tickets €15/10 concession.
Did you know that according to some people, you can change your life by changing your handwriting. The theory is that your writing can reveal and heal blocks. Our mind is a plastic and mouldable structure – we can always achieve change and our handwriting is a direct expression of our subconscious mind. Even motivational author Louise Hay changed her handwriting based on Vimala Rodgers’ Alphabet.
Beata Januszczak runs workshops in this and will introduce us to it all. Beata has spent the last 5 years studying the connection between the body, mind and spirit. She’s a Reiki and Seichem Master, an NLP Master Practitioner and Life Coach and a Neuromuscular Trigger Point Therapist.
She also studied the soul-based handwriting with Vimala Rogers (author of the book “Transform your Life Through Handwriting”) & became a Certified Handwriting Consultant.
Is there an aspect of your life that you would like to change? Come find out more on this very special evening with Beata.
Finding Purpose
By Davie Philip
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” Dostoyevsky
So here we are at the threshold of another new year, traditionally the time we make resolutions and reflect on how we are doing. I want to explore here why a strong sense of purpose is important in living a good life and playing our part in making the world flourish. I want to look at what we might do to find and maintain purpose and meaning, and really live our lives by our principles and values.
If you haven’t heard the news, the world has a few problems to solve. We urgently need to rethink how we do almost everything and if we want to cultivate a good life – one in which we thrive, not just survive – it will be crucial to have a clear sense of purpose. Without it, our lives will lack meaning, we won’t get to do what we are passionate about and we may not get the opportunity to share the unique gifts we have to share.
Let’s begin by defining what we mean by purpose. A simple definition might be: the reason for which we exist or why we do what we do. Discovering the reason we are doing what we are doing is an active, values-driven pursuit, it is not just about discovering what we should do, it is about why you do what you love to do. In many ways you could say the purpose of life is living a life of purpose.
Philosophers have grappled with this subject for millennia. Purpose, and how it can bring meaning to one’s life, is related to the deepest existential questions we ask ourselves like, ‘Who am I?’ and ‘What should I do?’ Science has now discovered that a strong sense of purpose is associated with a revitalised sense of wellbeing as well as physical and mental resilience. We are at our healthiest and happiest when we have a purpose and the energy to pursue it.
Your purpose is your North Star, an invisible guide helping you navigate through the most challenging of times. In no particular order here are some steps to find your purpose and discover how it might align with the changes that are needed in the world.
- Slow down, sense the need
- Identify the bigger context; from the need springs the purpose
- Let go of fear and begrudgery
- When we stop finger-pointing and blaming others everything changes.
- Discover what feels important to you
- Appreciate what you are good at and ask yourself what makes you come alive.
- Reconnect
- With yourself, your family, your community and the environment around you.
- Use systems thinking and move from the I to the We
- We become less self-centred when we take a wider perspective.
- Nurture self-transcending values rather than self-enhancing ones
- Cultivate values such as relationship, empathy, community and things bigger than yourself, rather than fame, power, status and wealth.
- Find common purpose
This is the key to the transformation that is needed in the world. Cooperate, collaborate and build community.
Davie Philip is a group facilitator and trainer who manages the Community Resilience programme at Cultivate Living and Learning. He is based at the Cloughjordan Ecovillage and is a board member of GIY Ireland. davie@cultivate.ie
A Sense of Place – Community Resilience in a Changing World by Davie Philip
There’s no place like home in a supportive community
“Find your place on the planet. Dig in, and take responsibility from there.” ~ Gary Snyder
In this column, I have been enquiring into how our communities might cope and adapt to the challenges we face. I believe that being more civic minded and engaged in community life could be healthier, and is also the basis for a much needed economic localisation. But how do we go about nurturing a stronger sense of place and playing our part in improving our world, one neighbourhood at a time?
Feeling connected to those around you and taking pride in your village, town or city, actually contributes massively to our own well-being and is an essential attribute for the flourishing of our families and the places we live. In times like these, we need to cultivate our skills in placemaking.
Reflecting on the place we live is not something we do much these days. There is no real need to know our neighbours, or the annual rainfall. Where the water sources are and what the soil is like is local knowledge that is just not needed by most of us today. It is now common to be physically resident in a locality without knowing much about the place, the people, or participating in any way with the community’s development.
Community Support
To buffer places against the impacts of a challenging economy, we need to explore different ways to improve the economic prospects of our local places. Margaret Wheatly, who writes about the complexities of communities through the lens of living systems, believes that places are interconnected systems of relationships, and that “whatever the problem, community is the answer.”
We will be better able to deal with adversity, and be far more resilient, by linking the positive qualities of our places, as well as the assets and people. Doing this will give us the ability to adapt and to respond to change positively, which will play a critical role in the viability of our communities in the future. But how do we go about developing the sort of communities we’d like to live, work and grow old in? For the last decade, I have been on a journey to do this, to find a place to walk my talk and put down my roots.
Seeking to develop roots in a place is, in many ways, a desire to become more integrated. It’s about forging connections to an area and building healthy relationships. Rootedness does not have to mean a return to territoriality or tribalism. Connecting and linking with other people in other places is also absolutely vital to a community’s ability to adapt and thrive.
Settling Down
Until recently, I have lived quite a nomadic lifestyle. Unlike my peers, I didn’t invest in property, and therefore, have not been tied to any place. For years, I lived in Dublin where I shared a large, rented house in Dartmouth Square, which was a hotbed for creativity, and was a great way to live. There was an extraordinary feeling of community, and although we were only renting, we had a great sense of place and a real pride in the area. Our household played a major role in securing and revitalizing the park opposite the house, which is now owned by the community. Outdoor yoga, talks, films and all sorts of public events are now held there.
Three years ago, my journey to find a place ended in Cloughjordan, North Tipperary. It wasn’t such a long way from Dublin. Since then, I have lived and worked in the new eco-neighbourhood there. The village of Cloughjordan is a very liveable place and is an Irish nominee for the UN LivCom awards taking place in China later this year. These awards have the aim of improving the quality of life of citizens through the creation of more liveable communities.
Living in community comes naturally. Although we are born to live together, in many ways, society today forces us to live apart. Already, I feel a strong sense of place in Cloughjordan. I have really gotten to know and work with a very diverse group of people. About 65 households have located to Cloughjordan over the last five years. Most live in the new ecovillage neighbourhood, and many have located here because it is a great place to live. There is a desire to create a place where our lives are simplified, diversity is welcomed, livelihoods are maintained, children play together in safety, and the environment is protected.
My journey is now about playing a part in building a sustainable community in rural Ireland and helping make Cloughjordan a destination for learning. However, in the process of doing this, I’m learning so much myself. Not just about placemaking and community approaches to growing and distributing local food or generating energy, but about empathy, clear communication, understanding the point of view of others, and working collaboratively to make a difference together.
So, how can placemaking help build healthier and more liveable communities? To nurture a stronger sense of place and to be effective catalysts for building our communities’ resilience, I think the following are useful first steps:
1. Step Up – Don’t step back, participate. To have a good life and ensure a healthier place to live, we need to engage with those around us. There is so much to do, so get involved in your community.
2. Celebrate What We Have – By appreciating the resources, assets and strengths of individuals around us, we can help our communities to realise opportunities and better address local problems.
3. Be Creative – More than anything, we need to work differently in the world. Supporting creativity can help maximise collaboration and problem solving in our communities.
4. Encourage Diversity – A resilient community values the perspectives and knowledge that different people bring. Involve all ages and people from different socioeconomic backgrounds.
5. Lead From Within – Leadership is not always about being in charge. Placemakers need to have the ability to inspire initiative and new thinking within those around them. To make a collective difference in our places, mobilise, encourage, connect and support initiative.
6. Connect – Build relations; not only with those around you, but also with those in other places and communities that are further afield. We need a new “glocalisation” where the health and governance of our local places is seen as critical to achieving global well-being.
7. Cooperate – Collectively, we can achieve a lot more than by trying to make changes on our own.
8. Share – Valuing access and the sharing of assets over private ownership has the potential to foster increased social connections, create local livelihoods and strengthen the resilience of our communities.
Fantastic things can happen when communities have the power, resources and capability to determine their own development. Place is about land, place is about people, and place is about the shared stories that hold our communities together. A stronger sense of place and stepping up to participate in the life of our community will help ensure a good life in these changing times.
Davie Philip manages the Community Resilience programme at Cultivate Living and Learning and is a board member of GIY Ireland. davie@cultivate.ie
A one-day workshop on Liveable Communities and a course on Place Making are offered by Cultivate. Visit www.cultivate.ie
Summer is here, and with it comes the lovely summer issue of our print magazine. In this issue, we have a must-read, exclusive interview with Esther Perel on intimacy and desire. Find out about types of Attraction, new models of Commitment, and best practices for reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.
We also have tons of inspiring, useful information about Astrology, Beauty, Diet, Feng Shui, Gardening, Health, Law of Attraction, Meditation, Sustainability, and a new TANTRA column from the fabulous Dawn Cartwright.
To have the mag delivered direct to your door, Subscribe online.