Our spring issue is out now! Our regular contributor and Tantra expert Dawn Cartwright shares her insights on awakening the senses to expand our capacity for beauty – Dive on in!
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Transcendent Sex: Experience New Levels of Ecstasy
We always love reading articles from our resident Tantra columnist, Dawn Cartwright. Dawn is a genius when it comes to discussing how we can bring more tenderness, presence and love into our intimate lives. In our Summer 2021, she wrote about transcendent sex. Enjoy her wise words below!
Tantra educator and writer Dawn Cartwright is one of our much-loved regular contributors. We previously published a sneak peek of her Spring 2021 article, ‘Imagine Orgasm,’ to our website, and today, we’re sharing the whole thing. Enjoy!
By Dawn Cartwright
Oonagh
Late into the night, Oonagh sat in her kitchen hand selecting kale leaves from the crate the organic farmer had just delivered. A brilliant chef for an organic café, she’d spent the evening out with a man she’d met a few weeks ago. Things had gone well, yet Oonagh knew she was keeping things lighter than she might have wanted because she felt uncertain about her ability to truly let go into intimacy. At 29, she’d never experienced the passion her friends described and she’d begun to wonder if there was something missing, something flawed or incomplete in her own experience of pleasure. As she sat at the dimly lit table, Oonagh picked up one of the vibrant leaves and placed it in her mouth. She felt as much as tasted the sharp bitter green, and because the intensity demanded her full attention, it brought Oonagh back from her worries and fears and into her heart – instantly.
Fionn
Fionn is an IT genius with a sharp wit and classic style. The star player on his team at work, Fionn has his eye on a promotion into management. Now 25, he’s had two years to hone his craft, show his strengths and build trust among his coworkers. There’s epic competition as three senior IT specialists are also vying for the position. Nevertheless, Fionn’s certain he’s the man for the job. During his interview, Fionn found himself being asked the typical interview questions – yet because of his focus and determination, he seemed to hear them in a way he never had before. Fionn’s sense of hearing elevated to super human levels. He was able to listen between the lines and got a clear sense of what was actually needed and expected of him in the new position. His replies were insightful and expansive. Fionn’s interview was stellar.
Dónal & Caitlín
Dónal and Caitlín have been happily married 22 years. Their lives revolve around their six children, ages 12 to 21. Family brings them joy. Even with all the love, Dónal and Caitlín have been growing apart in recent years. The demands and stresses of two careers, children and a home mean they rarely get time alone. They’ve lost the spark. One windy evening Dónal and Caitlín were sitting up watching The Late Late Show when suddenly, everything went dark. They sat there together in a bit of shock for a minute or two, power lines down, senses heightened, until finally Caitlín slowly reached across the sofa to find Dónal. In the darkness and disorientation, her fingers lightly caressed his shoulder and chest. It was as if she was meeting him for the first time all over again. In the spontaneity of the moment they felt a closeness they hadn’t experienced in a very long time. Their spark was reignited.
What is Tantra?
What do these four fictional characters have in common? They’ve all experienced Tantra and they’ve done so without any formal training or instruction.
There are hundreds if not thousands of ways to define Tantra. One of these is . . . the realisation that each of us, through focused attention in simple, everyday experiences, has the power to create our world. The formal Tantras have their roots in Hindu culture, governed by sacred texts known as The Vedas. The Vedas were transmitted thousands of years ago to sages who listened to the melodies of nature. These melodies still exist, of course, and are transmitted through sight, sound, taste, touch and smell, expanding our understanding of ourselves and life all around us. Anyone who has ever spent the day hillwalking or by the sea knows that nature has special messages to convey. The ancient wisdom of the Vedas is earth-based and real, clearly revealing the true nature of creativity and the appearance of everything we experience in our lives. Tantras are the methods, or techniques, for being in tune with this creativity; both in the world and within our bodies. In the Tantric view, our bodies themselves are microcosms of the universe and we ourselves are the creative force that births planets and stars. The creative force that creates our life.
Oonagh was so attentive to the bitter taste of the kale, it took her over. She regained her connection to nature in this one simple act and returned to her heart, the one place where she could actually begin to open to the intimacy she’d been missing. Fionn brought all his focus to the interview and heard aspects of the questions even his interviewers didn’t realise they were asking. Dónal and Caitlín met one another beyond all the barriers of daily stress and reconnected as if for the first time. Through focused attention in simple, everyday experiences, each of the four created, in some small way, a new world.
And so can you.
Dawn Cartwright is a Tantric visionary, sacred writer, world traveler, and innovator in bio-energetic Tantra fusion. Dawn will offer: Sacred Sexuality. How We Love. 6-Nights of Tantric Bliss, October 6th – 12th, and Fragrance of the Lotus Tantra Teacher Training 2018 in Wicklow. To book your place, go to: www.dawncartwright.com.
Imagine yourself suspended in space, wrapped in a cocoon of silence. A subtle vibration exhilarates every cell in your body – and everything around you also vibrates at that same exhilarating frequency. Your senses are sharp and expanded. You feel as though you are seeing with a thousand eyes. Hearing with a thousand ears. The air you breathe feels alive, almost fluid, most certainly intelligent, creating an acoustically perfect medium so that the even faintest of sounds are clear as crystal. You are alone and a part of everything at once. You are in ecstasy.
(Remember to catch Dawn at our Positive Nights event tomorrow, Wednesday April 19th. Click here fore more info!)
By Dawn Cartwright
If we were to imagine how Tantra feels, this would be what we’d envision. We search for this feeling in everything we do. When we meet a lover. When we go on holiday. When we choose a home. It’s a feeling that is familiar to us, a feeling that tells us we’re in the right place, with the right person, at the right time. There is a pervasiveness to this feeling so that it fills every part of who we are, in fact, it’s much more than a feeling – it’s a state of being. The very core of who we are. The journey we take, each one of us, whether we choose to call it a spiritual one or not, is a journey toward this state of being. There are many paths and ways to find it; Tantra is one. The journey toward ecstasy often appears to have a beginning, yet rarely has an end – a prospect we may find inspiring, overwhelming, or both. Let’s look at the beginning of the journey, deep into the middle to discover how Tantra feels.
Euphoric – The First Feeling
There are many ways to explore Tantra, from complex yantras, mantras and rituals to breath work, massage and intimacy practices. You may undertake these explorations solo, with a partner, or a friend, yet no matter how, when, where or with whom you take the first step, you are likely to discover that Tantra feels euphoric, alive and confident, joyful. Tantra is, in its most fundamental form, an invitation to be completely free. The yantras, mantras and rituals will ask that you sit for hours with a single focus,
unlocking hidden places in your body and psyche, places where you’ve left parts of yourself behind. The intimacy practices, the breath work and massage will teach you how to be truly intimate with another so you can finally be truly intimate with yourself. When you sit for the first time, alone or with someone else and ease yourself beyond the limitations and criticisms you’ve held for so long, you’ll discover the freedom of being yourself. An experience that is truly euphoric.
Challenging – Overcoming Barriers
Soon after the euphoria, it’s not unusual to find that Tantra feels challenging. Just as the commitment to exercise and fitness quickly reminds us how much work there is to be done, the road to ecstasy is not without its challenges. You may find yourself distracted by endless random thoughts while practicing a Tantra meditation, or suddenly shy while eye-gazing with a partner during a Tantra workshop. If you remind yourself these very experiences are actually highlighting the progress you are making, they’ll come as welcome challenges, rather than barriers. To grow into a greater experience of ourselves it’s necessary to release what’s in the way. Challenge, when approached this way, begins to feel exciting.
Radiant – New Body, New Mind
As challenges are met and barriers dissolve, muscular tension you didn’t realise you were carrying begins to melt away. At this stage, Tantra feels radiant. Tension held in the body represents thoughts and beliefs that are not our own. These thoughts and beliefs are often very old, sometimes held over from childhood. As our body becomes more subtle and open, our thoughts change and vice versa. The energy and intimacy practices of Tantra support this opening, creating a new body and mind. When this occurs, life energy – Kundalini energy – begins to flow more freely. It is widely known that the yantra, mantra and ritual Tantra practices awaken Kundalini energy by removing obstacles that block the primordial energy flow in the body. The breath work, massage and intimacy practices amplify this same energy whenever we share intimate space with another. The energy present in our sexuality, when allowed to flow freely, is the source of our radiance.
Devotional – That Sense of Belonging
When our energy is embraced with integrity, respect and honour, it naturally expands to fill the body, opening the heart and Tantra feels devotional. The meaning of the word devotion is “to belong”. Here, in fact, in all the stages above, we have the opportunity, if we are willing, to feel that transcendent feeling of connection that is – ecstasy – the full acceptance and celebration of who we truly are.
Dawn Cartwright is a Tantric visionary, sacred writer, world traveler, and innovator in bioenergetic Tantra fusion. dawncartwright.com.
Simple, beautiful moments of Tantra designed to open you to the extraordinary depths of the Tantric practice. Whether you’re just beginning, or you’ve been exploring Tantra for many years, you’ll find these moments bring intimacy in ways you might never have imagined. You’ll cultivate a steady sense of who you are, you’ll align with what is meaningful to you and you’ll experience a freedom to be and express as the person you truly are.
By Dawn Cartwright
Every moment is an opportunity for a beautiful Tantra ritual, all it takes is a bit of planning and preparation and soon hearts will be soaring.
The Invitation
First, extend an invitation to practise Tantra to a friend or lover. Be prepared to describe Tantra so there’s a clear understanding of what will take place. What is Tantra for you? Explore your desires and expectations for the practice together. What would you like to receive from the practice session? What would your partner like to receive? Whether it is to learn more about Tantra, to create a loving connection, to meditate together using Tantra practices, to ignite your sexual fire or whatever, embrace it.
Boundaries & Emotional Connection
Once you know what you’d like to give, receive and explore in the practice, talk about physical and emotional boundaries. What kind of touch you are comfortable giving and receiving – and where on each of your bodies you feel comfortable giving and receiving touch? Are there limitations to how long you can sit in meditation? Are you okay with incense? What kind of music do you enjoy? Sharing boundaries makes it possible for us to meet authentically and helps us to be responsible for fulfilling our own needs and asking for what we want during the practice. Create a comfortable Tantra practice environment to support you and your boundaries. What kind of environment will create the perfect atmosphere for the practice the two of you have planned? Use your imagination. Prepare your body. Take a shower, brush your teeth, anoint your body with essential oils, dress in fabrics that are sensual and comfortable. Bring a gift, something simple like a flower, or chocolate, or music.
The Tantra Practice
Before your practice session, choose a practice you both feel familiar with, preferably something you’ve practised several times on your own. This will make it easier for each of you to fully engage in the practice without becoming distracted as you try to remember steps or techniques. A practice you may wish to explore is described below.
Heart-2-Heart Breathing
Sit together, facing one another. You’ll place your right hand on your partner’s heart and your partner places their right hand on your heart. You both place your left hand over your partner’s hand on your heart. Close your eyes. Breathe out from your heart into your partner’s heart, giving love. Breathe in from your partner’s heart into your own, receiving love. This practice creates a weaving between your hearts and expands the connection you share. Continue for 3-5 minutes. Bow to one another to complete the practice.
Integration & Following Up
Make sure there’s time at the end of your practice to share what you have discovered with one another. Then, take
some time alone to integrate and digest what you have experienced by going for a walk or meditating. Make a date to check in with one another sometime within 24 hours. Share anything that may have arisen during or after your practice session.
Throughout the experience, remember to enjoy the moment!
Dawn Cartwright is a Tantric visionary, sacred writer, world traveller, and innovator in bioenergetic Tantra fusion. Dawn will have the ‘Women’s Sacred Sexuality, The Red Tent’ workshop, in the Wicklow Mountains, April 20th-21th, 2017.
This is a sneak peek from our Autumn 2016 issue, out now. Pick one up free in one of our stockists around the country to read the full article, or subscribe to have it delivered.
This series of Tantra Moments are techniques you can practice here and now, and I will continue to bring you more throughout the year. No partner is needed. No special abilities are required. Only you, just as you are.
Tantra Moments: Meeting Desire
By Dawn Cartwright
Desire is solid proof that life is brazenly optimistic. Proof that life believes in you, your ability to expand far beyond wherever you are right now. It’s that exhilarating feeling that fills the body whenever we are ignited – by pleasure, by love, new people, new ideas, new projects, old people, old ideas, old projects. Desire is the spark of something that has never yet been – reaching out to become. Meeting desire = meeting the future. It’s the you that you’re destined to be who’s keeping you up nights and making you crazy – not the object of your desire. It’s your future self emerging in those moments of passion. And the one you’re crazy about? That, my friend, is you. Expanding and growing, until the walls around you dissolve, leaving you exposed to the creative beginnings of true and unconditional love. (This makes life very happy.)
This is just a sneak peek. Read the whole article on Meeting Desire in the Autumn issue. Stockists | Subscribe
Upcoming Spring Events with Dawn
- October 6th (Thursday): Positive Nights: Sex Made Sublime. Dawn Cartwright is on her way back to Positive Nights for an experiential evening of discovery. You will be guided you through exquisitely beautiful Tantric practices designed for singles and couples alike, a journey into the far reaches of the heart. More info here
- October 7th – October 13th: Sacred Sexuality . How We Love: 6-Nights of Tantric Bliss. Explore the sacredness of your sexuality – the fire that ignites the heart and liberates the spirit. When lived and experienced naturally, our sexuality opens our heart, births creativity, power and freedom, actualising the potential of love in every way, in every encounter. More info here
This is a sneak peek from our spring 2016 issue, out now. Pick one up free in one of our stockists around the country to read the full article, or subscribe to have it delivered.
Positive Tantra: Open up to Intimacy
By Dawn Cartwright
If you’re new to Tantric ideas and practices, these simple, beautiful moments of tantra are perfect to open you to the extraordinary depths of experience and connection that tantra has to offer, a connection to yourself, the world and to others.
But whether you’re just beginning, or you’ve been exploring Tantra for many years, you’ll find these moments can bring intimacy in ways you might never have imagined. You’ll cultivate a steady sense of who you are, you’ll align with what is meaningful to you and you’ll experience a freedom to be and express as the person you truly are. Through the practice, you’ll experience a natural way of being that is sensual and blissful. This series of Tantra Moments are techniques you can practice here and now, and I will continue to bring you more throughout the year. No partner is needed. No special abilities are required. Only you, just as you are.
This is just a sneak peek. Read the whole series of Tantra moments in the spring issue. Stockists | Subscribe
Upcoming Spring Events with Dawn
- April 13th (Wednesday): Special Buddha Bag Meeting: Discover the True Potential of Sex. Dawn is on her way back to the Buddha Bag for an experimental evening of intimate discovery. Having just returned from a pilgrimage to India, Dawn will share the rare and beautiful Tantric practices she learned during her time there. More info here
- April 14th – 15th: Women’s Sacred Sexuality: The Red Tent. A wonderful workshop to nurture yourselves, learn sacred sexuality practices, enjoy nourishment and take space to allow yourselves to simply be. More info here
- April 15th – 17th: Workshop Sacred Sexuality: How we love. In a beautiful private retreat in the wilds of the Wicklow mountains, you’ll learn the many mysteries of Tantra, a path of the heart. More info here
From lovers to friends and back.
By Dawn Cartwright
Hayden and Lake had come to the crossroads so many of their married friends had warned them about. Somehow, without noticing, they’d gone from being lovers to being friends.
Don’t get the wrong idea, Hayden and Lake had always been friends. In fact, their relationship began as friends years back, meeting at a music festival and sharing a rain tarp fashioned from a bin bag while watching their favourite band during a deluge. The spark between them grew slowly, until one afternoon stretched out on the bed together browsing Netflix, things took a passionate turn. It was weeks before friends and family saw them again.
Things must have heated to the point of incandescence (which is 2,482 ?, by the way) because, once they did reappear, the two of them were radiating an awesome light. When things get that hot, you never expect they’ll cool down. But they did. And we’re so often unprepared for that, we don’t see it coming, or see it happening.
Some years in, Lake discovered that emotion was key to sexual arousal and wanted more time talking and caressing. Lake wanted moments of closeness that didn’t always lead to sex, as well as moments that did. Lake felt sexual when met emotionally. Hayden had discovered that the act of lovemaking created more space for emotional connection. Hayden wanted sex to flow easily between the two of them as it had when they first became lovers. Hayden felt their emotional connection was a constant and saw sex as a way to nourish that stability and closeness. Hayden felt emotionally connected when met sexually. Sex was a boost for an already solid emotional foundation.
This is a sneak peek, read the rest of the article in the winter 2015 issue of Positive Life. Subscribe | Stockists
A Tantric View on Parenting and Sexuality, Part 2
By Dawn Cartwright
Adolescence, a time of growth spurts, hormones and emotional outbursts alongside fi rst loves, invincibility and sexual awakening. This is a time of transformation from childhood to adulthood. Many criticise the unruliness of this age, but some dig beneath the surface and uncover the beauty and tenderness also present. Adolescence is sexuality in its purest form, full of aliveness, innocence, courage and an optimistic belief in the power of love. A little understanding goes a long way in creating an environment where adolescents are cherished, and sexuality and the passion it instills brought out of the shadows and into the full light of acceptance.
Early Adolescence: 9-14 years – puberty begins.
The brain sends signals that unleash hormones that initiate the radical transformation of the brain, bones, muscle, blood, skin, hair, breasts, sex organs and libido. Boys may experience nocturnal emissions or ‘wet dreams’ and menstruation begins for many girls. Both may explore masturbation as an outlet for sexual arousal and curiosity. Early adolescents are often highly engaged with nonsexual interactions, such as online chatting and texting. One minute they’ll act like a child, the next like an adult – the process of becoming an adult is not linear and your child will move forward and back.
They’ll be dealing with peer pressure, popularity, acne, sexual arousal and hormonal changes. Listen and empathise rather than just dishing out advice. Also, their limbs are growing faster than the rest of their body so they lose balance more easily and can feel insecure about their bodies. Spend time swimming, rock climbing and cycling together to accompany them in building confidence and balance.
Middle Adolescence: 14-17 years – puberty is nearly complete.
The middle adolescent may be extremely concerned with their appearance. There’s an increase in sexual attraction and exploration. Dating and making out are common. Sexual exploration may include fantasy, masturbation and partners of the same or opposite sex. The gender of attraction is not necessarily an indication of the adolescent’s eventual sexual orientation, this is a time of self-discovery.
They begin to define their sexual identity and may experience identity confusion. Your adolescent’s brain is changing rapidly so there are bursts of emotion, blasts of rebellion, invincible one minute and completely insecure the next. They are certain they’re seeing the world as it truly is for the fi rst time in history. Sports, dance, music, martial arts, humanitarian projects and other organised peer activities can be excellent places to channel sexual energy in non-sexual ways as they explore who they are.
Late Adolescence: 17-21 years – your child has become an adult.
Intimacy skills and a sense of commitment and future are well developed and they are more likely to form long-term relationships. They are more responsible about their sexual choices and behaviours. Many become sexually active and more expressive or open about it during this stage. Sex and relationships are fi lled with meaning and mutuality. They begin to think about what kind of person they’d like to spend their future with. The hormonal swings level off and they are becoming more spiritually centred and aware. Their choice of music, clothing, study and career refl ect this awareness in ways that may challenge their parent’s perspective. They are aware of and have access to books, classes and counsellors, and hopefully loving parents that support their continued growth.
This is taken from our autumn 2015 issue. Subscribe to have the next four issues delivered direct to your door.
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