

By Elva Carri
You’ve probably heard it a million times, think it sounds great and agree, but first things first, love yourself. It’s not an ‘actual place’ to meet people obviously, but it’s an important state to meet people from. What I completely missed about it for a long time is that it requires time and effort. That and I also didn’t really believe it applied to me. I like how I look, I like who I am, I like the things I stand for. In theory, I love myself. It was only recently that I realised that loving myself in theory only gets one so far. Loving another person means nothing if you don’t show it in actions, loving yourself is the same. Look at something you’re neglecting or mistreating about yourself and start taking little bits of time to cultivate this, each day or week.
Matthew Hussey is one of the most successful dating coaches in the world. I’ve watched the videos, I’ve been to the seminar. One of his best points is when he explains how so many women he works with say they want to be with a guy who loves going to museums/galleries/hiking etc. Yet when he enquires about where they go to meet men, they say bars and clubs. If you want to meet someone who loves hiking – go hiking! Join a hiking club, and keep going, and go on hiking holidays and join an online forum for hiking fanatics to discuss boots.
Unless you live in an incredibly isolated area, there are people around you all the time. Perhaps they aren’t all your ideal partner, but start smiling or chatting. Step outside of your comfort zone by the smallest amount. If you don’t ever look at people, take a look. If you never smile, smile at a few people. If you see someone regularly and always say hello, take it a step further and say “Hi. How are you?” Connecting with people you don’t know, just a little bit, makes it easier and less scary to eventually say hello to that hottie that appears one day out of nowhere. When he/she does, maybe ask for some advice on whether to get a Mars or a Snickers in the supermarket queue. Full disclosure: I am amazing at doing this with people I don’t find attractive, but put me next to a hottie and I lose the power of speech entirely. However, I have handed out notes, shaking like a leaf but where there’s a will there’s a way.
3. Organise something that makes it comfortable to create a slightly bigger social circle than your normal gang.
In GirlCrew, a crazy little friendship group for women that I run, we organise mixed pool tournaments from time to time. Everyone is required to bring someone of the opposite sex and it’s a great excuse to say to a crush, “Hey, I really want to go to this pool tournament/games night/ whatever but I need a partner or I can’t go. Any chance you’re free?” By organising the place and the activity, it means you also get to do something you enjoy and feel superb in the midst of.
Elva Carri is the editor of Positive Life as well as being the founder of GirlCrew, an online and offline social network for women all over the world to get out and have more fun. she has been on a lot of dates. girlcrew.rocks
This is taken from our autumn 2015 issue. Subscribe to have the next four issues delivered in print, direct to your door.
This is a sneak peek from our autumn 2015 issue, out now. Pick one up free in one of our stockists around the country to read the full article, or subscribe to have it delivered.
By Elva Carri
You’ve probably heard it a million times, think it sounds great and agree, but first things first, love yourself. It’s not an ‘actual place’ to meet people obviously, but it’s an important state to meet people from. What I completely missed about it for a long time is that it requires time and effort. That and I also didn’t really believe it applied to me. I like how I look, I like who I am, I like the things I stand for. In theory, I love myself. It was only recently that I realised that loving myself in theory only gets one so far. Loving another person means nothing if you don’t show it in actions, loving yourself is the same. Look at something you’re neglecting or mistreating about yourself and start taking little bits of time to cultivate this, each day or week.
Matthew Hussey is one of the most successful dating coaches in the world. I’ve watched the videos, I’ve been to the seminar. One of his best points is when he explains how so many women he works with say they want to be with a guy who loves going to museums/galleries/hiking etc. Yet when he enquires about where they go to meet men, they say bars and clubs. If you want to meet someone who loves hiking – go hiking! Join a hiking club, and keep going, and go on hiking holidays and join an online forum for hiking fanatics to discuss boots.
Unless you live in an incredibly isolated area, there are people around you all the time. Perhaps they aren’t all your ideal partner, but start smiling or chatting. Step outside of your comfort zone by the smallest amount. If you don’t ever look at people, take a look. If you never smile, smile at a few people. If you see someone regularly and always say hello, take it a step further and say “Hi. How are you?” Connecting with people you don’t know, just a little bit, makes it easier and less scary to eventually say hello to that hottie that appears one day out of nowhere. When he/she does, maybe ask for some advice on whether to get a Mars or a Snickers in the supermarket queue. Full disclosure: I am amazing at doing this with people I don’t find attractive, but put me next to a hottie and I lose the power of speech entirely. However, I have handed out notes, shaking like a leaf but where there’s a will there’s a way.
This is a sneak peek from our autumn 2015 issue, out now. Pick one up free in one of our stockists around the country to read the full article, or subscribe to have it delivered.
Street Feast is a day of local lunches across Ireland on 14th June, hosted by you and your neighbours. They can be anywhere, that choice is up to you to see what works best for your area but they could be out on the street, in a local park or in your front garden.
Street Feast has been running across the country for five years now and it’s a great excuse to eat some great food, celebrate your local community and meet new people who live near you. In an age of social media, it’s become really easy to connect with people with similar interests and passions to ourselves and often these online connections translate into real life meetups, events and ultimately friendships. But it might be less easy to knock in to your next door neighbour and ask him if he’d like to be Facebook friends.
Hosting a Street Feast party, or attending one that someone else has planned gives you the opportunity to meet the people around you and I think this is so important. I had the joy of living in a small square in Dublin for the last few years and got to know a few of our neighbours. Ann from a few doors down taught me how to prune our rose bush and loaned me the clippers to do it. Joe heard some people trying to break into my car one evening and went out and shooed them away before they’d got it. And when we eventually moved out of our home, we dropped our spare recycling bags in to Walter.
As well as the general niceness and usefulness of knowing the locals, I also felt safer in the house on my own than other places I lived. Despite the car incident, it was generally a safe and lovely area. But it made me very happy to know that if anything happened, there were people only seconds away who I could call into and I hoped they knew that they could do the same.
I’m trying to pluck up the courage to call in to my new neighbours about having a Street Feast here and I hope you get the gumption to do it too.
Check if there’s already one listed for your area >
If not, register to host one here and get a free party pack including a handy guide, invites, posters, bunting, balloons and colourful hats!
From our Spring 2015 issue. Subscribe here to have the next 4 issues delivered.
NASA granted permission to feel like your problems are very small and easy to let go of this January by releasing the largest photograph ever taken. The 1.5 billion pixel image is of the Andromeda galaxy, our closest galactic neighbour.
YouTube user daveachuk created a video (watch below) from the image that takes you deep into and across the galaxy, eventually pulling back to reveal it in its entirety, its place in relation to Earth, and finally its place within the night sky as we see it. Similar to the Pale Blue Dot speech by Carl Sagan, which appeared in the 2014, TV show ‘Cosmos a Space Time Odyssey’, NASA’s image is not only visually captivating and blissfully glittery, but expansive and inspiring, taking us on a journey through our very real and beautiful heavens.
I don’t know about you but it makes me less worried about deadlines or whether I ate the right food or not today, and more concerned with this tiny gem we live on and our very simple, basic responsibility to look after it and each other. In a universe so big and bold and gorgeous and breathtaking, what could be more important than making sure we take care of all its ingredients? Turn off lights you don’t need, walk to work, take the time to be lovely to someone and smile, because somewhere in a galaxy a scrillion light years away, someone might be taking our photo this very second too.
By Elva Carri
Health at Hand is a health food store in Arklow run by Kathy Rogers. Kathy grew up in a family where holistic and alternative medicine options were the norm, so she says it was natural choice for her to go on to study holistic therapies in Dun Laoghaire.
Before opening her own store, Kathy had also worked in and managed other health food stores. Finding herself without a job at one point, she decided she’d simply create her own. She now employs two members of staff who help out a couple of days a week too and between them provide a wealth of knowledge and experienced advice for anyone who pops into the store.
Upstairs, Cathy also has a therapy room and provides holistic massage therapy herself with other therapists renting the room and providing kinesiology, homeopathy, nutritional therapy and more.
Her favourite thing about the running the shop? “I suppose the most satisfying thing is when people come back and tell you something worked really well. It’s particularly satisfying when they’ve tried conventional routes for a long time. Or when you see people very quickly get a result.” And she says it’s very common for people to let you know this because if something else comes up for them health wise, they’ll come back to you because you have found something that worked for them before.
If she was going to recommend one thing, she says gut health for immunity is key and they offer free kefir grains in the store for you to make your own kefir milk to get you started.
Taken from our Winter 2014 issue. Subscribe here to have our Spring issue delivered direct to your door.
Monart was recently named among the top three spa resorts in the world but when you’re there, you wouldn’t know it. Not because it’s not amazing, but because they’ve created a space that feels disconnected from the rest of the world and any expectations there might be of it or you.
It’s as if it maintained its integrity so well, that it never gained an ego or a reputation that puts pressure on the establishment to look like something, it simply is. And because of that, you can simply be. The five star luxury is just a super cool bonus.
I’m a sucker for a gorgeous natural environment so the tree shrouded driveway, lake and gardens immediately feels healthy and restorative. The staff are friendly, warm, calm, at ease in being helpful and tell you the things you really need to know; such as it’s totally cool to wander about in your robe and slippers and that they have a collection of DVDs if you want to borrow any later. Massage therapist Laura was excellent, focussing on different parts on either side rather than following a set, learned sequence which in my mind is a good indicator someone really knows what they’re doing.
I had a deliciously seafood filled dinner and they offer ‘spa-friendly’ options for those on a health kick and a full vegetarian menu. I slept like a baby in a giant feather duvet and got up the next day to my first ever Qi Gong class with a Shaolin monk. Which it turns out is the perfect start to a day of relaxing by a cosy fire.
Taken from our Winter 2014 issue. Subscribe here to have our Spring issue delivered direct to your door.
Taken from our Winter 2014 issue. Subscribe here to have our Spring issue delivered direct to your door.
If you like to take healthy eating so seriously that you can’t find anything about it fun anymore, the Punnet Health Food Store and their Food Emporium are probably not for you. Or perhaps they’re exactly the place for you. The lunch time rush is just easing off when I arrive and James, Darragh and Michael are at the ready with jokes, juices and generally tearing apart any misconceptions anyone might have ever had about healthy eating being boring or difficult.
When we begin chatting, it’s clear how well they know their stuff. They have backgrounds in sport, business and the fruit and vegetable trade and they’re visibly hungry to keep learning more about nutrition. But it’s not all about what they think is right for you. The value in the rapport they naturally build with their customers is that they embrace requests, issues and problems as an opportunity to provide people with something even better. And while it’s good for business, when they talk about it, it seems they really just do it because they get excited about it and can’t help themselves.
One example of this is their salad plan. While juicing is an insanely popular trend and they provide some of the best in Dublin, they said some people just can’t or don’t want to do it. Their salad plan has similar benefits but designed for people who want to chomp on something. Call in if you love eating really healthy health food while not being judged because you ate a chocolate bar once five years ago.
punnet.ie | thepunnethealthstore.com
Taken from our Winter 2014 issue. Subscribe here to have our Spring issue delivered direct to your door.
Denise Ryan wrote to me recently asking if there was anything I could do to help her raise funds for a very important cause, her health. Denise turned 30 this year. So did I! Denise has a girl crush on the amazing Susan Jane White – so do I! Denise loves Scrabble – I love Scrabble! I want to be friends with this girl and hang out and have coffee and go walk the dog she’s going to get one day, but at the moment she’s generally confined to being at home and so I need to enlist your help with this.
“When you reach the milestone of turning 30, you think you’ll be building a life for yourself, with somewhere to live, friends, a job and maybe a family. Noone prepares you for the possibility that you might be so ill that you need you need your mother to dress you, or learn to give yourself a sponge bath, struggling to eat and keep weight on.”
In some emails exchanged between the two of us, Denise told me what her aspirations were, “I’ve never had huge aspirations, I just wanted to be a librarian, have a big dog, play Scrabble, and do things that made both myself and others happy.”
Denise has had digestive and immune system problems her whole life but in the past few years contracted lyme disease. She’s raising funds so she can go to a specialised clinic in the states. You can read more about Denise and her condition here. And while this is all hard for Denise, and her first trip over must have been exhausting, she spoke beautifully about the people around her helping her.
“A month ago I bundled together all of the energy, money and hope I had and made the journey to a treatment clinic in California. I was worried as I did not have the funding to afford care assistance, but was amazed by the kindness and generosity of three ladies I met there. Despite also being quite ill, they helped me with groceries, transport, picking up medication and making sure I had everything I needed. One of these amazing women even invited me to Thanksgiving with her friends and family, and while I struggle greatly in social situations now due to neurological and physical symptoms, it warmed my heart to meet the people she loves and how kind, welcoming and accommodating they were towards me. I am forever grateful for their assistance, and for their friendship.”
Let’s give her a million more things to be thankful for and touched by, in the form of donations, sharing the link and/or messages of support and love. http://www.gofundme.com/3000tenners. Find my scrabble-buddy to be on twitter too @irishmcginger and tell her she’s lovely and brave and wonderful and send her pictures of cute puppies for when she’s choosing what type of dog she’ll get. If she hasn’t decided already. #HappyDenisemas #3000Tenners
This time a year or two ago, one of the lovely things I was busy with was making upcycled notebooks and customised notebooks with any text you wanted printed on the front. The funniest and best request I got for one was from a friend of mine who asked for one with ‘Better Than a Soap Set’ printed on the cover to give to someone as a gift. This followed into a series then of ‘Better Than a Box of Roses’ and ‘Better Than Socks’ and so on. But sometimes, bath stuff and soaps and smelly things are a perfect gift. One thing I would ask myself before buying them for someone however is, is this something the person is going to use? Or is it just going to take up space on a shelf. I like having as few things as possible so I would hate to be the cause of unnecessary ‘stuff” in someone else’s home. But if you decide yes it’s going to be used, or yes you want to be the cause of stuff in someone’s home, these are my recommended favourites. And if you do give them to someone, tell them the story of them too. In some ways that’s the nicest thing about them. Soap is just soap after all.
Dr. Bronner’s are famous for their 18 in 1 soaps. You can use them for everything from normal hand washing, to laundry, to brushing your teeth with the stuff – a friend has used their peppermint one for this. I was treated to a few of their products to review them a while back and tried them out for lots of their uses. They didn’t suit my hair type for shampoo but other people I talked to used them for that and it worked perfectly (the people in question had dark short hair, and dark hair with very tight curls. My hair is fine and long ish and even with their conditioning rinse, it didn’t enjoy it at all.) The rose scented one is divine, you’ll feel and smell like a prince or princess from somewhere very exotic and wonderful. If you buy this one for someone, tell them to use it as their laundry detergent at least once. I swoon thinking of the smell of that batch of laundry, though it would be a little pricey to use it for that all the time. In saying that though, it only takes a very small amount to get sudsy, so that’s good.
Now, the interesting stuff. I have done no investigative journalistic adventures into what the company website says, so I’m taking them at their word, but if it’s all true, my goodness they’re lovely. And maybe numerous companies are that lovely and if you are, put that information up somewhere easy to find because I think consumers really do consider where their money is going more and more often.
“At Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps, we believe that Corporate Social Responsibility is more than just a buzzword. From the products we make, throughout our supply chains, to our dedicated activism and our charitable giving, to our relationships with employees, we are committed to progressive values in every aspect of our business.
The total compensation of our highest-paid employees and executives is capped at five times that of the lowest-paid position. Our employees receive 15% of their salary paid annually into a retirement/profit-sharing plan, up to 25% of their salary as a bonus, and a no-deductible PPO health insurance plan for themselves and their families. We implement programs within our workplace to encourage personal growth and development, and we strive to create a healthy environment for workers to thrive and take pride in their contributions to the broader world community through their work at Dr. Bronner’s.
All profits not needed for business priorities are fully dedicated to the charitable and activist causes we support – they are not kicked back as windfall bonuses or distributions to executives or owners.”
Sound. So what are their charitable causes and activism?
As well as this, they publish information on where each of their ingredients are sourced. They also have information on their various projects and causes and how they implement their values. The products are organic and vegan friendly. Maybe if you’re stuck for something to write in the card going with the gift, find out about one of their projects that fits with a passion or interest the person you’re giving it to has, and tell them a bit about it. It’s nice to know nice things like that and will get you off the hook for just buying them soap.
I’ve written about what a lovely company Voya are before here. They are an Irish family business who have produced such great stuff (that works), with environmentally considerate processes, that now it’s hard to even get a hold of some of their products. I imagine it’s difficult to produce stuff at the quantity now in demand while still maintaining the integrity of their production methods, so if you do have to go on a waiting list for their much sought after moisturisers or eye creams, take it as an opportunity for learning extra patience and a moment to enjoy something in life that is slower and not instantly gratifying. Then it’s two gifts in one already.
They’ve also very recently launched a new product, a massage and body oil called ‘Angelicus Serratus’, a name taken from the main seaweed ingredient I believe and meaning ‘kisses from the sea’. If you’re buying this as a gift, and the lovely glass bottle makes it a very high end gift even on its own, but I’d also recommend maybe finding a nice exfoliant if you want to give them two things. (Aren’t you generous? This person must have been really lovely to you. That’s nice.) The reason I say this is because it actually works so amazingly well when used in conjunction with some exfoliating that you or the person you’re treating will be stroking their own skin in shock the next day. Sometimes I’m of the opinion that I can’t possibly actually need moisturising, my skin seems completely fine without it, but my gosh, the silky smoothness. On top of that, using a body oil after a bath or shower is a lovely way to take extra time to be sort of doing nothing but pampering yourself. Or massaging it onto another person deserving of pampering. Either way, it gets top marks for luxury moment. You can read another review of it here also.
Best best for getting your hands on either of these brands around the country are health food stores and some pharmacies. It’s a bit late for online purchases but you will find them online too, if you want to gift your loved ones a lesson in patience or a nice surprise in January when they’d given up any hope of you getting them anything at all.
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