We love these words of wisdom by the renowned meditation coach and author Sandy Newbigging. In this sneak peek from our Winter 2018/19 issue, he shares his advice on how to generate a greater sense of love in our lives.
The Love Lesson
Giving love without limits
by Sandy Newbigging
Many of my relationships ended in tears because of one core misconception in my attitude towards relationships, which led to either my partner or me reaching our final straws sooner or later. I believed that relationships were an opportunity to get love, when in reality, all relationships offer unlimited opportunities to give love.
This simple yet significant problem in my perceptions of love and relationships meant I had to ‘perform’ to be deemed loveable by the outside world. I believed the amount of love I experienced was down to them, and as a result, I didn’t feel the love that I yearned for. Not because people didn’t love me, but because I was withholding love by waiting to be loved. Consequently, I didn’t experience love and frequently felt hurt: playing the blame game and defaulting to being the victim of an unloving world.
Wise people don’t pin their hopes for peace and love on the actions of others. I love this quote by Anthony de Mello: ‘If peace is what you want, seek to change yourself. It’s easier to protect your feet with slippers than carpet the whole of the earth’. This a super reminder to be more empowered within relationships.
Instead of being a victim to the actions of others, look for opportunities to give love wherever love has been lacking. Seek to see what button within you may have been pushed, then be willing to ‘heal thyself’ so that you can become the most peaceful and loving person you know. You’ll be amazed by how much better you feel when faced with people that you previously perceived as being problematic.
This is an extract from Sandy’s new book, ‘Mind Detox: Discover and Resolve the Root Causes of Chronic Conditions and Persistent Problems.’ Published by Findhorn Press, February 2019.